Priceless?

New, slightly larger TV on sale at Wal-Mart: $400

Humidifier: $30

Knowing that the odds of me frying our new TV are now lower: priceless


It's like crazy crap happens to me just so that I have something to write here. Wait until I tell you about the hairdresser I went to on Saturday who thought I was a lesbian. I know.

Meanwhile, the new TV doesn't get here until late this week. Until then I'm rocking some Hulu.

Frugal Fail: The Worst Super Power Ever

I always thought that if I was going to get a super power, it should be the ability to fly. A logical choice considering I'm always looking for ways to do things faster. Flying would cut out a lot of commuting time, ya know?

What I did NOT want was the ability to shock things into submission. But this is what I'm stuck with.

Sub super power: an uncanny ability to break stuff.

Here in dumb not-humid-as-advertised Georgia, where the inside of our house is so dry that I'm single handedly supporting the moisturizer industry, I have gained the ability to shock everything and anything with a bazillion volts of static electricity. The other night I touched a light switch and actually saw what I created leave my finger like a bolt of lightening. It was kinda cool -- and kinda painful.

All I wanted to do in the whole wide world yesterday afternoon was ease the pain of folding that truly giant pile of laundry by watching some re-runs of some show on TNT. Is that too much to ask? So I turned the TV on as I sullied towards the couch.

But I couldn't find the remote (it's still MIA ... Dave, where did you put it?!) and so instead of going straight to the hunt, I opted to turn the volume down manually and THEN look for it.

It went like this.

1. I walk to TV

2. I put out my finger to turn down the volume

3. I touch the volume button

4. A shockingly (hahahahah -- sorry) strong charge of static electricity leaves my finger and goes into the TV.

5. My neck and finger hurt.

6. The TV turns off, then back on again ... sorta.

For the next 10 minutes I watched the TV turn itself on, warm-up, short out and do the process over again. A cycle that continues even now.

In short, I broke our 38 inch flat screen, wall mounted, $700 TV by touching it. Apparently surge protectors only work if the electrical charge goes into the surge protector first -- not if it goes into the TV from another spot.

Our renters insurance excludes damage done by electrical currents -- even if that current comes from your own body. Oh, and the warranty on the thing expired a year ago.

Who knew you could even break a TV by touching it?! Why does crap like this always happen to me?

The Answer to This is "More Cowbell"

Hi, I'm Amy and I am addicted to downloading obnoxious Christmas music. I'm pretty sure some of it includes the liberal use of cowbell.

I am now the proud owner of the Glee Christmas album, the Target Christmas sampler (a collective of music from their commercials. Now every time I hear the songs I want to shop at Target. Like I don't already have a problem with that or something), the iTunes Christmas sampler, the Straight No Chaser Christmas album, a variety of world Christmas music and last but not least, the "Singing Christmas Tree" by VeggieTales.

I know.

To make matters worse I also feel compelled to play said music every moment possible. We have very strict rules here allowing Christmas music only between the day after Thanksgiving and Christmas Day, and so I feel like I have to take advantage of every single Holiday Spirit second that I can.

(Never mind that I made up the rules).

Is the look in my husband's eye that of pending Christmas music induced insanity? I refuse to believe it. Is the fact that I have that annoying "Last Christmas I gave you my heart ..." song from Glee stuck in my head so much so that I can't sleep a problem? I won't say that it's so.

It's Christmas spirit central over here, folks. And by the time you get a taste of the delicious cookies I'm working on, you won't care that you're listening to Carol of the Bells for the zillionth time. I don't.

The Price of Awesomeness

I really want people to like me. I figure the best way to make them is through delicious treats.

I realized Christmas of 2008 that the best way to accomplish this goal would be to make and distribute giant plates of Christmas cookies. I spent several days mixing, cutting, baking and decorating. The result was a giant plate of cookies -- and I mean GIANT -- for the husband's office and a plate for our small group. No one cut me off so I think the op was a success.

Last year I expanded the job to making a giant plate for the office and a pile of other small plates. To help you understand how this worked and explain why you didn't get one, I've drawn a diagram (because I am ALWAYS looking for an excuse to draw a venn diagram):

We are now in prime baking season again. Since we now live on post and we actually know some of our neighbors I decided that my awesomeness would be best advertised by giving cookie plates to all of them (not the ones I haven't met, just the ones whose names I was told but can't remember and those I do, in fact, know). I'm also planning to make a giant plate of cookies for Luke's class because those dudes have never even HEARD of my awesomeness before ... and I must advertise.

But I have discovered something: baking is way more expensive than I remember. I vividly recall how much work it is (and I'm trying to mitigate that this year by mixing and freezing the dough ahead of time .. that at least will make it less messy in the long run, I hope). But I forgot how pricey it can be.

Is the adoration of my neighbors really this important (<---- no)? I don't even LIKE most of these people that much (<----- kidding).

What I really want is the process to go like this:

Uh, sorry for the small diagram type. My awesomeness does not extend to figuring out how to make it bigger.

Motivation, Where Art Thou?

Thee? Thou? Whatever. I think "thou."

I'm trying to harness my motivation and then make it stay around. I'm very, very good at being AMPED about something for a short period of time. And then I get tired. And then I want to take a nap. And THEN I'm not motivated anymore.

Case in point: fitness. I really, really, REALLY like racing in triathlons. It is such a high. But I have a hard time remembering how much I love it when faced with a delicious looking bowl of pumpkin ice cream. For real.

And there IS a direct correlation between that bowl and the race. Because if I eat it then my next workout will be spent working that off, instead of chipping away at the back log of poor eating choices I'm carrying around from the past, oh, well ... 27 years. (I figure I've been making poor choices since day one).

My other problem: I typically have enough motivation to actually get me to the gym, but not enough for me to make what I do there mean anything. For example, yes, I'm swimming ... but slooooowly. And then I get out early and sit in the hot tub. This way I say "I spent an hour at the gym today" and you all think I'm really super awesome. But I know that what I actually did there was check out the sauna. (<---- I've never actually done that. Mostly because a small room of sweaty women creeps me out. I mean, gross.)

If I'm living in such a way that all of my time is of value and should be used the best way I know how, I need to focus! And stay motivated to do the right things (because it's way easy to be motivated to make that cookie dough disappear. Now THAT'S something I can get behind).

Better to Give ....

Over the last six months Luke and I have been making a conscious decision to give more. This is a really hard one for me -- I prefer to hoard stuff, in case you haven't noticed. Sign me up for anything free, discounted or penny-pinching.

Giving is hard. It means a conscious decision to NOT put that money in your bank account, but instead send it elsewhere.

Now, the Bible says that when you give the Good Lord will reward you by giving it back to you over and over again. Maybe it won't be in the same form, but it WILL come back.

And wow is that counterintuitive. And hard. Very, very hard.

But we have been trying nonetheless. And I am happy to report that God is faithful and that, as cliche as it is, I cannot out-give God. The more checks I send out, the bigger that number in the savings account seems to get. How is that even possible?

I'm not saying this to say "look at me and my awesome generous self." I'm saying this because I think it's a good reminder ... if you give it WILL be returned to you. And yes, it is scary hard to do. But it is so worth it. Investing in the lives of others is a blessing on which you cannot put a value. The joy of knowing God is using you in a very practical way is something that cannot be replicated. And no worries about giving away money, He'll still make sure you have enough.

I wish I had made the decision to do this sooner in life.

(But I still cringe every time I write a check).

... It STILL Feels Like There Isn't Enough Time

There aren't enough hours in the day.

I work really hard to have correct priorities. I only have the TV on while I'm doing mindless tasks for which I am being paid (no, really). And maybe I actually watch a total of a half hour a day before I go to bed during the week and maybe a little more on the weekends, though not much.

I tend to burn some time doing mindless things on the internet that I could probably axe if I wanted -- maybe as much as an hour a day.

All of that to say that I don't feel like I waste time. I cook for my family in the most productive, least time consuming way I know. I have a cleaning schedule so that I don't ever spend too much time doing it, and I try to knock it out while on my conference call each day (for which I am being paid ... two birds, one stone). I try to do any shopping I can online so that I don't have to haul 40 minutes roundtrip (at least) to the stores. I get enough sleep.

Truly, my work time could be more productive. I get easily distracted. ... but I have this HUGE LIST of things that I need to do running through my mind. Things like updating my work website, writing, stories I want to chase, etc.

I have my priorities -- family, work, exercise and the occasional Bible study/social time. I try to spend an hour with Dave each day out doing something active. When it's sunny/warmish we go to the park down the street. When it isn't we go to the pool, also down the street. I try to exercise for at least an hour a day, outside when it is nice and at the gym when it is crappy (like yesterday .. WHOA was that a rainstorm!). We also have a very firm rule that we get 8 hours of sleep a night. We are in bed at 9:30 p.m. and up by 5:30 a.m. This keeps us healthy and productive the rest of the time.

But despite all of these measures, I STILL feel like I am running on empty and there is NOT enough time for me to get done everything I need to do. And with our trip to Ohio in just 3.5 weeks, I think my brain might explode.