Things to Avoid

I've come to learn (through much trial and error and then, just for good measure, more trial and error) that there are some things you should flat out avoid when you are feeling sad and alone. For your benefit I will now make a list:

-- Ordering take out. You end up with way more food than you can eat by yourself, but feel like you HAVE to eat it because, hello, you bought it and paid for it. Therefore: stomach ache and feeling fat.

-- Marathon watching Greys Anatomy. You don't feel like laughing so you don't want to watch Friends. But Greys Anatomy is like the most depressing show ever so, while it fits your mood, it also makes it worse. What you really need is Gilmore Girls -- a show about people who arent always happy and saying happy things, yet makes you laugh and feel fairly good nonetheless. A TV miracle. Alas, there are like 29 people in front of you waiting to borrow it from the library, and your resident copies moved to Alabama.

-- Christmas cheer. See, you might THINK this will make you happy. But you'd be wrong. In actuality it just makes you feel MORE alone and MORE sad because the people you wish you were celebrating are still far away.

-- Husband coming home preparations. Again, something else that you THINK would be a happy thing. But it isn't. And here's why: instead of having a date that he'll be coming home you, well, don't. It's like this thing that is perpetually "coming," but never seems to get here. And as for the preparations, you really could just get a pedicure a week just in case like, but you feel like a moron going by yourself. It's hard to be all supportive and awesome for yourself when you are straight up tapped out. What you really need is the requisite pizza and ice cream and movie nights and clothing shopping. But alone?

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Dave makes me happy. That's one thing.

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Today we are going to a Brigade christmas party. I RSVPed 3 weeks ago that the husband would be there with me. So now I get to go and answer a million people when they ask "when does he get back?" Kinda makes me not want to go.

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I stepped on my glasses last night and now I have to go and get them fixed. Enter a week of Amy not being able to see properly.

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Maybe I'd feel better if I put away the laundry. This is day number 11.