Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Days of Former Fame

Days of former fame, ah yes, when I sat down at my blog and wrote about absolutely nothing in a wonderfully entertaining way. What happened? What happened to blogging with reckless abandon?
Oh days of former fame ...

I ate oatmeal for dinner tonight. This seemed to be a good alternative to nachos, which is the other thing that sounded good. Nachos has sounded delicious since, oh, last Friday when I had it for dinner. It also sounded delicious Saturday (when I had Mexican food with chips instead), Sunday (when my nacho attempts were thwarted by an evil restaurant with a broken oven) and last night (when I ate nachos made by me). I plan to eat nachos Thursday at the "coffee," held at Farrelli's.

My point is that sometimes I need to not eat nachos for dinner. So I ate oatmeal instead.

I'm watching Lipstick Jungle, which seems to be a tamer version of Sex and the City, a show I love .... minus all the way too graphic sex scenes. It's just ... too educational. Yeah.

Luke left again this morning for the field. This time he is just on Fort Lewis, with cell phone, and coming home next week for two days. It just doesn't feel like he's really gone. So I'm not upset about it.

Plus, being completely honest here, I haven't been sleeping that well and I think it's because the room is hot with the boy/heater. I miss my boy/heater, and when he gets home we'll try sleeping with the window open a little bit more so that I am not so hot. And then maybe it will be better.

This evening I walked around the lake and talked to God. I miss walking and talking to God, and having time at my favorite hang out just before work to write and talk to God. I need to find a new Ebs .... Lacoste is not it.

Friday, September 26, 2008

On Sleeping

Luke got home Friday morning at 1 a.m. As I was getting into bed at 8:30 p.m. Thursday I thought to myself "hm, maybe he will surprise me and get home tonight at like 1 a.m. instead of tomorrow at a normal person's hour." This seemed like a pretty fair thought because, let's be honest, the Army hardly ever does anything one could consider within the realms of normal personage.

Sure enough, at almost 1 a.m. on the dot the house door opens (steathly, to be sure, but this is single Amy subconsciously on the look out for intruders here, so natrually it couldnt have been stealthy enough to keep me from waking) and in saunters Luke after 10 days gone and no communication.

Just like that.

The problem with a husband coming home is that you've spent whatever amount of time that he's been gone getting used to sleeping alone and kind of liking the fact that there is no boy/heater systematically scooching onto your side of the bed all.night.long with what appears to be one single objective: pushing you on the floor. You kind of get settled with the idea that you're in a large bed here and, if you want to sleep diagonal with your head on one side and your feet on the other, by gum, you can and will. And do.

And an even greater problem is this -- that when the husband comes home after such an absence at 1 a.m. (think: mid Amy slumber), you don't have any time to reasses your sleeping philosophy for the night before bedding down and are all set on the diagonal position. And of course he wants to get in bed too. And of course you can't just fall back asleep because now you have to stay on your own side of the bed and gird your loins against the pushing. And all that stuff.

It was a restless night.

Plus being awake for an hour randomly in the middle of the night never equaled good rest for me.

I'm thinking about purposefully taking up a benedryl addiction. Well, not purposefully being addicted, but taking benedryl regularly knowing that I could form a habit. Whatever. The point is it helps me sleep all. night. long. ... and dreamlessly, too. Both of those things have been evading me recently -- I have terrible, weird dreams and wake constantly, even without the boy/heater to take up space ...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


They shouldn't let me into the grocery store without supervision.

Because most food does not make me want to eat it, at least at the moment, I've taken to going to the store and buying everything that looks delicious. And of course the whole situation is that much worse when I'm hungry.

Yesterday was innocent enough. Luke and I had fresh tortellini for dinner the night before, and I thought it was tasty, so I stopped to get some more.

But if you give a moose a muffin ...

And I saw cheese, and put it in the cart.

Oh! Ice cream!

And look, mozzarella sticks.

Mmmmm cheese its!

(and then I found the halloween candy aisle ...)

This is what I ended up with at home, after all was said and done:

I told you, dangerous.
Luke was supposed to leave yesterday for a five week give-or-take stint in the field. You can imagine my surprise when he walked in at about 1 a.m. I was up for at least an hour talking to him ...
And now I'm tired. Midnight interruptions with work the next day are not my thing.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Pants on Fire

Liar, liar ....

This post brought to you by (of all things) Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy, which got me thinking about the lies I tell myself to make me feel better.

Example: I am actually happy Luke is leaving for five weeks (with a visit or two home) because now I don't have to cook for him. Cooking makes me feel so yucky that I just have been avoiding the task, and I feel bad always feeling bad when he's around. So, he's leaving. Yay.

Truth: This sucks. I hate it when he leaves. WHO is going to feel sorry for me all the time while he is gone?! WHO is going to keep me company? WHO is going to laugh at my so not funny jokes? No one. No one because Luke is gone with the stupid, evil Army.

Or, another one:

Lie: Most of my pants dont fit because I'm pregnant.
Truth: The pants dont fit in more areas than the stomach -- if it was only a tight waistband maybe I could deal. But no, its the hips, the rear, the whole nine yards is tight. That makes me mad.

And again....

Lie: I'm a morning person. I love getting up for work and being here by 6:45 a.m.
Truth: At one time, not untrue. Yes, at one time I did like getting up early and I did sleep five hours a night and was just dandy ... but now, NOW I go to bed at 8:30 p.m. and want nothing more than to sleep until 7 a.m., with a half hour nap at about 2 p.m. just to hold me over for the rest of the day. I. Love. Sleeping.

Now, go and contemplate your lies.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

One Doodle that Can't be Undid

So, my eggo is preggo, which explains the whole "I'm not posting these days because I feel like crap" thing.

Therefore, a quick update to satiate your burning ... eyes.

1. I think I'm due in May
2. If you ask me if this was planned, I will stab you in the eye. With a fork. Or whatever. That's just how I roll.
3. I sleep like 10 hours a night, plus napping anytime I can snag one. I've always been a supporter of the napping ... industry ... this just legitimizes the whole thing.
4. I started working at World Vision in the afternoon three days a week
5. I still swim as many times during the week as I can
6. I really like ramen and cottage cheese right now. No, not at the same time.
7. Luke is leaving for five or so weeks Tuesday, so between all the sleeping and eating and swimming and working I should be good.

The End (for now).

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Vicarious Hindsight

I'm not an eavesdropper, really.

OK, fine, I'm not going to fool you so I'll just admit that I am -- but really it's a finely practiced skill learned for the greater good.

Back in the day it was: you say something really interesting in a conversation I overhear, I get to write it in my newspaper. So, see, greater good. Now, granted, it's more like: you say something interesting, I do nothing except hopefully satiated my desire to know what it is that you people are talking about over there.

But whatever. The point here is that the coffee shop is a fan-tas-tic place for burrowing in on others' business without being noticed. I sit and pretend to read my book, and you talk to your friend and keep me entertained. Is that so hard? No.

And that's exactly what I was doing today, only with slightly more vigor than usual. You see, today was particularly terrible on a personal level, probably mostly because from the moment I left my house at 6:37 a.m. I was exhausted. Yes, I had just gotten out of bed. Yes, I had slept all night (restlessly, but slept). No, I did not feel awake.

The day was one of those where, at any given moment, I was libel to give into the urge to burst into tears, based solely on the Army being really, truly awful and taking away Luke for long chunks of time in preparation for taking him away for a longer chunk of time later (and somehow thinking that system makes sense). I mean, do they not realize that they are leaving my poor heart in tatters? Don't they know that I'm not a big enough girl to do this by myself? Who are these people, and don't they have a soul!??!!

That is the state I was in when I began eavesdropping with all my might on a group of oldish ladies sewing cloth bags to send with missionaries overseas (ah yes, prime candidates for interesting stories). Apparently a bunch of retired Army wives (like most folks in this area), they were exchanging stories of their younger years, having children and what not ....

When one woman started telling, with a smile even, about the time she gave birth to her son while her husband was away at Officer Candidate School, and then after the Christmas break moved down there with him. She lived in a house, alone, outside of whatever base they were at where she spent her days caring for a newborn and doing laundry at the laundromat. She got to see her husband about once a day, for a few minutes at about 5 p.m. The deal was the married men would be released to the parking lot to talk to their wives through the window of their vehicles (wives not allowed to get out, husbands not allowed to get in) and then were recalled by their officers. That's right, kind of like prison.

And she told this all in the most cavalier of ways, with a smile on her face. And her friends sat there and laughed and said "ah, yes, the new Army wives must learn," as if they, too, knew. I had the strongest urge to go sit on the floor at their feet for story time, and learn something from these people who, frankly, may have laughed at my tragic attitude. And it would've been OK.

All this makes me think that perhaps I won't perish from all of this -- this woman didn't -- and maybe someday I'll be able to turn around and laugh about it, like I do already about the rainy June day not so long ago when I lost my keys, husband and dignity all in one tragic moment.

Next time I see that woman I plan to 'fess up and thank her for allowing me to listen. In other news, I took a two hour nap after work and feel much, much, much, MUCH better.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Why, oh why, oh why-oh?

Why oh why, oh why-oh?
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better go home.
Bernstein, "Wonderful Town"

OK, maybe I don't feel like that, um, at all. But Ohio was very nice this time nonetheless.

-- It was warm, not freezing-I-could-die cold
-- I saw a ton of a really awesome, really good friends. It's amazing how even when you haven't seen people for a very long time you can still click just like ... that ... based on past, shared experiences.
-- Good to spend time getting to know Luke's family, who lets face it, I'm a little biased against based on past experiences.

In short, other than the whole flying thing (I felt SO sick both times) it was an awesome experience. Ohio is truly beautiful in the summer (I was shocked). If I was more into the whole ... corn fields ... thing, I might like to live there.

But I'm not. And upon landing in dreary Seattle, seeing the Sound in the distance and being surrounded once more by trees I remembered how much I love it here. It's not that I don't miss D.C. -- I do, but this is more homeish to me than anywhere I've lived since my real "home" on the foggy beach in California.

As for the reception, it was lovely. I met a ton of people I do not know and may never see again, but that doesn't matter. Luke cares about them so it was good to be a part of it.

And now back to the old grind ... or is it a grind? I've got a job I love, friends that are wonderful, a husband that loves me, freedom to do what I want several hours a day, a swimming pool that isn't half bad most of the time (stupid Army people not withstanding), a beautiful area to live in and interesting adventures almost every weekend.

Coming soon: Amy's first real state fair experience with a real fair boy. Brought to you by the Puyallup Fair.