First, however, I was watching Nacho Libre with my family the other night, and Jack Black's sarcasm in this scene sums up my feelings pretty well:
"I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the fancy creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning, at 5AM, and make some soup! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That's fantastic"
By the way, if you've never seen that movie -- you really should. It's stupid some of the time but, like a lot of stupid things, also really ridiculously funny.
OK so my list of "grateful husband is gone" stuff:
-- I get to sleep in the entirety of a queen sized bed. Diagonally if I want. I mean, what's not to love about that?
-- I never HAVE to make dinner. Sometimes I just eat wheat thins. Again, where's the wrong??
-- I really really really like NOT flipping channels while watching TV. Ever.
-- Speaking of TV, I can watch whatever I want all of the time. Documentary about people who do crossword puzzles? Heck yes! Friends, season 8, for the 3,000th time? Certainly! More episodes of NCIS, a show I didnt even used to like at all? Absolutely.
-- Never have to wait for the bathroom.
-- Never have to wear anything even mildly attractive if I dont feel like it
-- In the last 6 months not a single person has tried to eat tuna in my apartment. It's like a deployment miracle.
So, don't go thinking that I want Luke to stay away because I REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T. But I'm trying to come up with some positive thinking here. Yes, "no tuna" is really the best I could do.
I think I'm going to go to Five Guys now (while I'm still in place that has one nearby) and eat some comfort food. For the moment I've lost the will to be skinny. Someone feed me french fries and diet coke, please?