Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Price of Awesomeness

I really want people to like me. I figure the best way to make them is through delicious treats.

I realized Christmas of 2008 that the best way to accomplish this goal would be to make and distribute giant plates of Christmas cookies. I spent several days mixing, cutting, baking and decorating. The result was a giant plate of cookies -- and I mean GIANT -- for the husband's office and a plate for our small group. No one cut me off so I think the op was a success.

Last year I expanded the job to making a giant plate for the office and a pile of other small plates. To help you understand how this worked and explain why you didn't get one, I've drawn a diagram (because I am ALWAYS looking for an excuse to draw a venn diagram):
We are now in prime baking season again. Since we now live on post and we actually know some of our neighbors I decided that my awesomeness would be best advertised by giving cookie plates to all of them (not the ones I haven't met, just the ones whose names I was told but can't remember and those I do, in fact, know). I'm also planning to make a giant plate of cookies for Luke's class because those dudes have never even HEARD of my awesomeness before ... and I must advertise.

But I have discovered something: baking is way more expensive than I remember. I vividly recall how much work it is (and I'm trying to mitigate that this year by mixing and freezing the dough ahead of time .. that at least will make it less messy in the long run, I hope). But I forgot how pricey it can be.

Is the adoration of my neighbors really this important (<---- no)? I don't even LIKE most of these people that much (<----- kidding).

What I really want is the process to go like this:

Uh, sorry for the small diagram type. My awesomeness does not extend to figuring out how to make it bigger.


  1. Ahahah! The refreshing honesty here is awesome!! And I'm glad- no matter HOW you swing it ( especially that bottom one) I get cookies

  2. Won't you be sad if I decide to keep them all for myself!?

  3. I would like to note the time on your guys' comments. Wow.
    And also, I loved this post. Every last word.

  4. Yeah I would like to note that this blog still thinks it lives on the West Coast. It doesn't.

  5. hahaha you never fail to make me laugh :)

    Oh and you should make my cookies. Minimal cost because it has like 8 ingredients and it literally makes like 250 cookies! The key is small and simple cookies. It can be done in different steps to reduce time. Oh and they are awesome! I posted the recipe on facebook under the i won a cookie exchange contest update.

  6. Give out apples -- cheap and fast.

    Ok, fine... I'm just jealous