I'm alive, no really.

I know you may not believe it. But really, I am alive.

I've just been busy. Very, very busy.

After I last wrote I spent a lovely weekend with my sister. Evidence:

And then I went to Ohio for what was really a lovely wedding and a truly, honestly wonderful time had by both me AND Dave. No, seriously, I had a good time. It was warm. And humid. And everyone was shockingly nice. And I kind of want to go back.

Evidence of Ohio:

When I got back, I had approximately three hundred million things to catch up on and do, and didnt even have time for the gym until yesterday. More about that in a second. Among the crazy list of things:

- Write research paper

- Write other essay

- Read part of book for essay

- Design/write newsletter

- About a billion things that I cant remember at this particular moment

And man did time this week fly by. Plus both Dave and I were absolutely exhausted from the whole trotting across the country business (which reminds me: key to traveling with an infant. Limit the amount of crap you haul).

Now, when I finally got back to the gym yesterday I was pleased to discover that I managed to loose 6 lbs in the last two weeks without even trying. Excellent! Sadly this STILL does not mean that my jeans fit. What the crap is up with that?!?! But it DOES mean that I am officially under my wedding weight. And it means that I have 9 lbs to loose until Im at my ideal weight. The real question is, however, at WHAT POINT my jeans are going to start fitting?! For the love.

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Today is my first wedding anniversary. I'm not really that interested in talking about it. But I do want to say ...

Spending your first anniversary alone kind of blows. It is infinitely better, however, when your husband is thoughtful from far away and sends you flowers and calls to tell you how much he loves you and writes you the sweetest email ever. And it also helps when friends take special care to make sure you are going to be OK.

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Baby Dave has been having something of a bad attitude of late, insisting that yours truly hold him all of the time, lest he scream. Not cool. And can I just say how hard it is to write any kind of anything when the baby is screaming?

There are some moments of some days when I think I can't do it anymore. Those are the moments that I feel the most sorry for myself that Luke isn't here ... the baby is screaming, Im exhausted and sometimes a little bored with it all and I remember that I have to keep doing it all by myself for the next year! And then I just have to sit down and cry.

But just when I think my mind may actually explode from it all and melt out my ears and/or my heart will burst God comes through and again and it gets better. And Im OKish to just plain old happy and am able to carry on.

Luke has been gone 1 month today. God has been gracious to me this month -- Ive kept very busy, the time has flown in some ways and I havent been nearly as miserable as I felt I would be this month, all told. Now to take on the next 11 ...