Monday, May 12, 2008

The Leaning Tower of Ego

It's like a game of Jenga -- which image/weight/feeling piece will be pulled next to make Amy topple?

It's like instead of expecting people to build me up, instead of trusting that they are here to make me feel better and accepting slips of words in stride as comical mistakes, I expect people, at any moment, to hurt me. Words aren't mistakes -- they are an oozing of how they really feel about the matter in a calculated attempt to hurt me (the goal, after all).

I know, of course, that hurt is not the goal. I know that that is about as far from what they want to do as anything else ... So why can't I accept that? Why can't I just trust?

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