Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Kill Joy, Part II

The problem with this blog, as with all others, is that I tend to only post when I really have something eating me that I just have to say.

And so it becomes a brain dump for all my being unhappy and Army hating, when really there are many days in which I love (OK love is a little strong of a word) the military and don't mind being an Army wife, and have a lot of fun.

So, in the name of not making me sound miserable ALL of the time, I'm going to start this post by telling about all the good times I've had since Luke was gone, and say things like "I had tons of fun without him" and "I may actually be able to function long term with him leaving and coming like this -- surprised me too."

So, let's start with last Wednesday -- went to Bible study and it was actually really good without Luke. I doubted the possibility of that. I got to talk about D.C. for an extended time with people who are moving there, and that always makes me happy.

Thursday -- saw Julia and Veeka, both of whom I enjoy a lot and had a lot of fun at the park. Thursday evening was Navs, which was also super fun.

Friday -- Went to the park with Gen and my not dog and Gen's not baby. Went to a birthday party Friday evening with Gen and Jeff and several other very fun people and played my favorite game, Apples to Apples.

Saturday -- I was thinking about going kayaking, but I ditched that idea and decided to go hiking with friends. Photographic evidence:
It was pretty much good times. That evening I took some work gals to a movie on post, where we saw the funniest pre-video of the national anthem ever made, featuring a moose. I laughed. (I also loved the movie, Get Smart).

Sunday -- Went to church, actually played sports with Navigator friends, went to the pool, came home because I was tired.

Monday -- My one month wedding anniversary. Where is my husband? Not here and has not talked to me in six days. But I am still OK! Why? Because I got to talk to Abigail for an hour on the phone and my husband was coming home in only on day and then I got to wash my carpet. And THAT made me really, really happy. And I organized drawers. And cabinets. And it was fantastic.

Now is the part where things go down hill. But you can see that I was very happy and well adjusted for several days there.

Last night (after all the cleaning) I went to bed, where I spent hours dreaming that Luke did get home before I left, but I couldn't talk to him or spend time with him because a bajillion people kept coming in and interrupting. By the time I woke up this morning I was really mad and stressed out and basically ready to see my husband again.

So I started watching the phone. He was supposed to call when he got home, likely this afternoon.

And it did ring. But not because Luke was calling. Basically everyone EXCEPT Luke called.

So I kept waiting. Gen was scheduled as back up driver just in case the Army was stupid and Luke wasn't home yet. But of course that wasn't going to happen.

And I kept waiting. And I made brownies. And then I walked around and admired my floors. And then I watched the Sopranos. And then I admired my floors some more.

And then my phone rang -- Luke, calling from not his phone (because he doesnt have it with him) to say that he wont be home until at least 10 p.m. tonight, and that I should call Gen and have her take me.

That converastion lasted 3 minutes -- the longest (and the only time) I've talked to him since last Wednesday. It was mostly silence because I couldn't talk. There I was again, stupid Army wife who hates the Army, crying on her couch because her husband is always gone.

Now I definitely do NOT want to go D.C. at all. I just want to sit here and wait for him to come home. And I do NOT want to fly all night. I do NOT want to eat lunch with anyone tomorrow, unless it is Luke, and I do NOT to walk around my former hometown, fighting off the urge to wish I still lived there without first seeing my wonderful husband and being reminded of why I left to start with.

Awesome, I'm a complete mess again ... so much for doing well.


  1. Sometimes I feel like my blog is too big of a drain dump and that people are going to think I'm always negative. That's when I either blog something positive or figure, "What the heck - it's my blog!" But I'm glad you recorded all the good things and I'm really sorry for the bad.

    The hiking trip looks awesome and beautiful. I really should take a road trip out there or something.

    And congratulations on the month-anniversary! Does it seem just like yesterday?

  2. Oh, and it's "brain dump" not "drain dump" - my brain is foggy this morning and my fingers feel like lead on the keyboard. :)

  3. Ah. I love you! Pick a show and let me know k? I'm a huge fan of mocking "Super Sweet Sixteen".