I Saw, I Conqured

Rather than risk our lives in the name of $8 jeans and $150 Blue Ray Players, Luke and I decided to sleep in this morning instead of hitting the stores at 5 a.m. ...

But then when we woke up at 9 a.m. shopping sounded like a good idea ... so ...

We did.

I am happy to report that I am overall pleased with our acquisitions. We hit Walmart, Best Buy, JcPenney, Bath and Body Works, Old Navy, Victoria's Secret, Sees Candy, Joann's and ... I think that's it.

Actually, I hit most of those by myself. Luke and I decided it would best to find his Christmas gifts, you know, without him. And I did find them! I am very proud of me. We bought only things we were going to buy anyway, sale or no, and got most of them for 50 to 60 percent off the normal price.

Good feelings.

I also got stockings. One for me, one for Luke one for Baby. We have no fire to hang them by with care or anything like that ... but this is a big step for me! I normally shun Christmas decorations because, well, I don't really like Christmas that much.

But I am trying to be awesome and familyish and all that stuff, so I bought stockings. And a seasonal door decoration.

Maybe next year I'll even get a tree and some decorations ...

Which brings me to: trying to enjoy the holiday season with Luke because next year he won't be here.

This is our first holiday season together ... and our last until at least 2010, probably. He'll go marching off to war next summer if the Army has their way, and it will be just me and Baby left to be merry on our own.

And so I'm trying to merry enough now to last for several years. On some level I feel like there is not enough I could possibly do to savor each possible holiday moment with him. I fear that if I try to savor it to hard I won't end up enjoying it at all ... or something like that. ... as if trying to live in the moment will ruin it all.
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Speaking of Baby (which I did like two paragraphs ago, in case you missed it), we have the ultrasound on Tuesday and I am VERY VERY excited. I get to find out what kind of kid it is and THEN I get to go baby clothes shopping!!!!

Yippee!! Stay tuned.

Most Cliche Post of the Year

Every year I post a rather cliche post on all the things I'm grateful for. Some stupid traditions should be carried on no matter how silly they are. Silly traditions like, for example, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade .. even though I don't know a majority of the people who are singing and hate all the commercials.

Luke doesn't like watching this, if that makes you feel any better about me watching it. First he started singing:

"Joyful joyful
We enjoy thee
Turkeys Floating in the Sky"

Then said:

"Whoa! Katie Couric is OLD!!"

(I said .... "that's Meredith Vieara")

"Well SHE looks old too!"

(he's right ... her face doesn't actually move when she talks. Something weird about that for sure)

Fair enough.

Anyway. Things I'm grateful for:

• Living by the Sound. I LOVE living here, even though the rain is stupid. But I love living by the water and compared to all the other stupid places the Army could make us live. You know, like Alaska. Or Kansas.
  
• Luke. I love him so much and he's pretty darn hilarious to boot. He agreed to watch the parade under the condition that he could make fun of it. I told him sure. However, when he started making fun of the White Christmas Broadway scene I said "you are only allowed to make fun of stupid things! This is serious!" and HE said "it's not serious. It's DANCING!" Hmph. He also thinks it's racist because they sing "may all your Christmases by white." Sure.
  
• Jesus. Life would be pretty boring without Him.
• The human I'm growing. At this time it takes some concentrated effort to be grateful since mostly it just makes me feel sick and tickles my insides and makes me boring and want to take a lot of naps. But eventually it will be an actual human that I will cuddle and feed and tickle and all sorts of fun things. ... so I'm grateful ahead of time.
• My friends and family both here and everywhere else. I couldn't do without the love and support of these people ... and when Luke leaves and I have a human they will be even more important
  

Bahamas, Baby!

Apparently casually mentioning a forthcoming Bahamas trip on the bottom of a blog post about nothing is a major no-no, so I'm going to make up for it with a post dedicated to my coming vacation.

Let's start with this: wooooohooooo!! Being warm for several days straight! Go me!

I was VERY excited about my cruise a week or two ago. I mean, we found a cruise on USAA out of Canaveral for $149 each for three days. Obviously that's good news. We convinced the road trip boys to stop saying silly things about going skiing as a group for their little "reunion" and start saying things like "being warm is awesome!" That's even better news.

A few anti-exciting things happened at the same time. First, I found an article in the New York Times that said Expedia was selling similar cruises out of Miami for $99 a ticket. Bah! Rain on my cheep cruise parade! Ugh!

Then I accidentally said something to Mr. Cruise Booker about how I'm pregnant. I mean, what's a little information among friends, right? Well then he's all "let's check on the cruise line's pregnant policy."

Ugh huh. And guess what, "guests cant be more than 24 weeks pregnant and must have a doctor's 'fit to travel' note stating such." And guess how many weeks I'll be? 25.

Obviously this is not going to keep from going. My first plan was to find out what this silly note thing looks like and then make my own fudging the dates a tiny weeny bit. Then I found out that said notes are written on prescription pads. And I don't have one of those.

Hmph.

So NOW my plan is to get a note, use a little creative white out action and only present it when asked for it. I'm also going to throw off the pregnancy scent by wearing a giant sweatshirt while boarding the ship. No one will even know I'm growing a human because I'll look like a giant red blob. Ah-hah! (I'll also be the only person wearing a giant sweatshirt in 75 degree Florida. This may or may not draw attention. I mean, people who frequent cruises are weird .... right? RIGHT?)

Things You Dont Care About

And now for "Things You Don't Care About," the time of day we write about things that you, dear reader, probably don't give a hoot over.

Commence to start.
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Today my coffee shop started carrying decent pastries again. This is a relief as a certain customer whose name is similar to Helmet has been complaining and driving me CRAZY every day saying things like "your muffins look like their from McDonalds."

Gee. Like I'm supposed to do something about that. Pshaw. Did I LOOK like the owner? No. But I did my small part to make the world better, pointed her towards the bakery with absolutely delicious pastries, and went my way.

And now the world is better.

Tomorrow I have to work with the employee I canNOT stand. She is the newest of the worker people, has a chronic overshare problem (I'm sorry, some details of your life require a history with a person before you go and throw it up everywhere), doesn't move an inch her entire shift, spied on a (now former) employee and tatttled to the owner on how said employee didn't work (ironic since she doesn't work ...), doesn't know what she's doing, doesn't care to learn, takes smoking breaks (nasty!), and TODAY she left a note saying that the person on second shift (that would be me) should be made responsible for cutting meat.

Not a good idea. Not doing it. No way. I hate people who are lazy. kakdsflkjasdlfj. That's what I think.
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Tonight ... ok it was more like last night and then warmed up tonight ... I made what Luke termed "the most delicious chilli." Right OK maybe that's not an exact quote, but it's close enough. It really WAS fantastic. I was a little worried because I messed with the spices quite a bit, putting way less of some stuff than called for because it just sounded TOO spicey. But it turned out great. I am awesomeness embodied. *pats back*
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A week from today I will know what kind of human I am having ... as the great Cpt. Hook once said "animal, vegitable or mineral?"

Nah, I'm pretty sure it's animal/human, so the question is really ... boy or girl? (hint: girl. Come on... who doesnt love the name Evangeline!?!)
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I am currently watching Wheel of Fortune. They filmed it Hawaii. I wish I was in Hawaii. Even if I had to hang out with Pat and his giant hair piece I'd be totally OK with it ... hello! Hawaii!!
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Speaking of places I wish I was, or you know, am going to .... the Bahamas!! We booked a cruise to the Bahamas the other day so we can hang out with Jeddy, Rachel, Nolan, Adiya, Dakota and Bull while being warm. What's more fun than that?!
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And now I'm out of things to say.

Ready, Set ... stop

I'm not ready.

I thought I was for a moment there. I thought I finally, after so many months, had come to the point where it wasn't about the power trip anymore. I thought, maybe, it would just be at the point where it is about the craft, the telling of the truth, the information.

But it's not.

It's still about the power trip. It's still about having a purpose that's cooler than anyone elses. Its about how it made me feel, not about what I'm doing for someone else.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'll spend the rest of my life doing nothing more interesting than cleaning a house and being a mom. I'm afraid that I'll loose my insiders knowledge, my ability to hold an interesting conversation about politics or Senators and Congressmen. I'm afraid that I will be someone other people will pity.

I feel boring.

I'm a Terrible Person

I'm a terrible person. There are a variety of reasons for this.

I didn't exercise yesterday like I promised myself I would.

I brought a giant bag of Cheese-Itz to work with and have been eating them all morning.

I had to call my husband and ask him his unit number, etc. because I was filling out a form that asked or it and I couldn't come up with something to be there to save my soul.

It's my last day at WV and I'm blogging. Yes, I'm that bored.

I checked Facebook this morning instead of reading my Bible for 10 minutes.

And when given the opportunity to shine the light of Christ to a very needy coworker I totally blew it.

There's nothing like a Facebook argument on your wall to generate drama and a certain level of public attention. The issue was with a certain young coworker who has caused more than her share of drama since I met her. She has a variety of very big attitude problems with I could spell out here, but won't, except to say that she has a major problem with authority to the point where she just doesn't want to do what she's told or what is her responsibility. This has made her a terrible employee. She just doesn't do her job and everyone else has to pick up the slack.

The Facebook exchange:

Employee: lol so to be very honest you can quit pretending you like me now =]

Me: I don't know how to respond to a comment like that because if I say I do like you as a person you'll say I'm lying .....

Employee: idk just from everything ive heard that youve said about me pretty much since youve been here makes me wonder how you can be so nice to me to my face

Me: I think you are not the greatest employee. I do not dislike you as a person! Theres a big difference

Employee: ok


Wow.

I couldn't deny saying that I think she doesn't do her job -- in fact, is terrible at it. I am ashamed to say that I can't deny talking to other employees about this, not just to our boss (which I feel is an appropriate person to talk to). I have told the employee that she's not doing what she needs to do ... so we can put one point in the "did the right thing in this instance" category ...

But everything else was wrong.

I don't feel badly about this because I am sad that she doesn't like me anymore. Frankly, I can do without the affection of a misbehaving teenager. But I AM sad that this has destroyed any hope of getting her to love Jesus.

Sometimes I doubt the wisdom of giving humans the job of spreading the gospel. Since so much counts on how we act it just seems like a bad plan considering that I am a terrible person.

Super Amy is Gone

Or rather, she's not gone, she's just having her powers sucked out of her by the human she's growing.

I used to be Super Amy. My typical day last summer went something like this:

5 a.m. -- Work out
6:30 a.m. -- shower
7:30 a.m. -- Work from Ebs
8:45 a.m. -- Go to Hill, work from there
7 p.m. -- Go home
7:15 p.m. -- eat dinner
7:30 p.m. -- work on freelance stories or if none, attempt to unwind
8:30 or - 9 p.m. -- sleep

On Fridays I did all of that until 7 p.m., then worked at Ebs until it closed. Saturdays I worked all day at Ebs then helped run/run a church service or two. Sundays I worked at Ebs some more, worked out, hung out with friends.

In the fall the schedule was augmented to largely eliminate the working out, add 2 hours of Arabic class two nights a week, cut Ebs on Sunday, add babysitting, studying Arabic and making/serving dessert to Sunday night and alter each evening with talking to Luke until about 11 p.m.

THAT was Super Amy.

Super Amy is now tired. Now I get up at 7 a.m. or so, I work from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. or so, I go to World Vision two days a week after that until 5 p.m., I drive home, I make and eat dinner (and if not at WV I exercise, run errands, go to Dr., whatever instead) and then I am tired. Very, very tired. I go to bed around 8:30 p.m. most nights. I usually wish I could go to bed sooner than that.

When will I get Super Amy back?? I miss her.

On being Brave

I was reading Joshua this morning. You know the entire first chapter is about being brave and doing what God wants even though it's scary.

I know I'm a fraidy cat, oh, most of the time. I hide it well most of the time, but really I'm a big fan of running away.

I have a lot of friends out there right now going through some very scary things and they don't really have the option of running away.

This is for them:

Don't be afraid. Don't be dismayed. The LORD GOD is with you wherever you go and no matter what happens.

Confessions

The confessions of Amy Bushatz, spastic blogger:

Today was the first day I've written in my paper journal in almost two months. Even more shocking: it is the first time I've opened my Bible for a pleasure read in I have no idea how long ... too long.

I miss D.C. a lot right now. I miss the fall and election season (both my favorite time of year that -- so conveniently! -- are at the same exact moment). I miss being a part of the energy and excitement that is an election night in the newsroom. I miss personal relationships with the candidates (or as personal as they are journalist-to-subject), knowing the moment returns are in, not going to bed until way too late ... just the wonder of being at the epicenter of the process. I really miss that.

I don't like working at World Vision. I am bored, the office is cold, the commute is long and I never have time to exercise. I'm going to quit today.

Everytime I talk to my Dad (or so it seems. In reality it's more like once-a-visit or every other phone conversation. And since I talk to him, oh, once a year on the phone, that's not a very good record) he manages to make me feel guilty and fat. I was hestitant to call him because, well, it's just fun to talk to him, but he wanted to hear how I am doing. Not 2 minutes into that conversation he wanted to know if I've gained a lot of weight with the baby and gave me a lecture on how people who gain 40 lbs or more during their pregnancy or more likely to have fat kids. I found myself justifying the 1 or 2 lbs I had gained as of the last visits. Awesome. Ruined my day.

I feel guilty for not blogging more.

I ate four twizzler pull 'n peel sticks for breakfast. (It was delicious).

My head hurts all of the time. It's really annoying.

I listen to opera in my car. And sing along.

Every few days I have to tweeze little tiny black hairs from the left side of my chin. I am afraid that when I am old I will be one of those gross old ladies with black chin hairs because no one will help me get rid of them.

I still sleep with a stuffed polar bear (mostly when Luke is gone). Are moms allowed to sleep with stuffed animals?

I'm making chicken and rice-a-roni for dinner. I have no intention of actually eating the chicken.