Just to make you read the whole post, I'm going to put off telling about my All Important Moment until the end. Watch me.
Today was a good day, got a lot done. Monday is my weekly Clean My House day -- the one day a week I dust, mop, clean the tub (OK the tub cleaning rarely if ever actually happens. I hate cleaning the tub. So usually I just spray it with bleach) and that sort of thing. I felt very inclined to this week add to Clean My House day the task of cleaning my carpet ...
And so I did. The last time I did this was July 28. How do I know this? Because Luke was gone and it was our one month wedding anniversary ... and I cleaned the carpets to celebrate. Lame, I know.
Now they are clean and shiny once more. Yay.
In case you are keeping track of my major pregnancy related food infatuations, my most recent is peanut butter. Yes, by itself, and preferably by the spoonful. I went through great lengths to locate the most healthy peanut butter, since it's hardly a low calorie food.
Also, yesterday we had to go out for Mexican food because I had a dream I was eating a burrito. Oddly enough, I did not want a burrito on said food trip. I got some sort of Enchilada creation, in case you were curious.
Now that I've gone off about food you care nothing about (don't lie), I feel this is a good time to remind my faithful reading base that really, this blog is, at its most basic level, for no other purpose than to be a brain dump for me. You must therefore pardon any posts that come across as "stuck up," or "egotistical," or full of pronouncements one may consider rather implausible in practice. Really, all I'm doing is giving myself a bit of a pep talk in writing. After all, my mantra has always been "It hath been blogged, therefore it shall be."
Now, for the Moment of Monumentalness (that isn't a word. I'm aware, thanks).
This morning Luke did all he could to convince me that what I really do want, more than anything in the world, is to move back to D.C. while he's deployed.
And I said "no."
(That was the moment, in case you didn't catch it).
It's not that I don't want to move back to D.C. or that I don't LOVE D.C. and frequently wish I could still be there ... I do. But I know it is not the right thing to do, no matter how much I want it.
Sure, you may say "well it's not practical," or "it wouldn't be the same with a baby." And I am aware of all of those things. My plan would not be to do what I was doing, but rather to work at a non profit or do one of those things D.C. people always wish they could do full time if money wasn't a factor.
So it really isn't about practicality or feasibility. It's about what I am supposed to be doing with myself, baby notwithstanding.
And I know, without a doubt, that I belong here for now. I am finally starting to figure out exactly what I'm supposed to be doing with myself (yes, it took me a year. Be quiet). I have at long last figured out where I might belong regarding ministry within our church. I'm finally meeting people and figuring out how I can help them.
And that is a good feeling.
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