Sunday, August 2, 2009

(maybe!! excellent!!) Army Drama (skepticism. lots of that.)

What's a new month in the Army without so drama?

But this time -- this time it may actually be in my favor.

First of all, please note my tone of really-fantastic-excitement-that-Im-trying-bed-down-with-sarcasm. I hate even having to point it out, but Im really kind of tired right now and I'm afraid it may not show itself the way I think it should. Actually, I'm just going to take a deep breath before writing anymore and see if I can get it to come up again.


Yeah. There.

OK! Now, as you all know Luke is in Afghanistan. Unless you've been on a different planet where there are no blogs and that sort of thing you've probably noticed that this fact is not my most favorite thing ever. I'm going to go ahead, actually, and stick in the least favorite thing ever category. It's that stupid.

So, now that we've established that it's pretty safe to assume that my most favorite thing ever would, in fact, be him coming home. Preferably soon. Actually, preferably tonight but as that is not likely we'll just stay with "soon."

Now we all know the Army is a big fan of messing with minds and making people excited about things that may not ever actually happen. Things like having your husband be sent home after six months so that you can move to Georgia. Things like that. And then extra special love taking things away after they've dangled them in front of your face in super nonchalant ways that make them seem like NOT a big deal when they actually are.

And it is with THAT little reminder that I say this ... Luke is probably going to come home on leave in October. And he is probably going to come home after six months to be the guy in charge of stuff at home for all the people who are deployed.


The feeling I had when he told me that can only be likened to the feeling I had, oh, this week two years ago actually. (Man, this is historically a GREAT week!) It can only be described as feeling completely topsy-turvy-need-to-throw-up Im so happy. That feeling of absolute disbelief when words you've been dreaming about hearing for so long are actually uttered. I think that's how I'd feel if I won the lottery. It's the feeling of answered prayer. It's the feeling of faith answered by a "yes" that could only have been orchestrated by God. It's the feel of hope answered.

And so if this actually happens Luke will be home with me for a few weeks in October and then back from keeps (or as keeps as it gets in the Army) starting in January. And then at some point we'll move to Benning.

October is so soon! I can't even wrap my mind around how soon that is! And it is extra special soon since Ill be occupied for one full week this month by running around California ... and more than two full weeks in September with running around D.C. In fact, by the time I get from D.C. October will only be a 9 days away! That is CRAZY.

Like I said, I can barely fathom how happy this makes me.

But then there is the part of my mind that says "wait Amy, it's not for sure. Nothing is ever for sure in the Army no matter how for sure it seems. Even it was "for sure" it wouldn't be For Sure."

That little voice is tainting my joy, spoiling my faith in answered prayer. I hate that little voice. In a way, however, he is right ... nothing is ever for sure.

But (with the help of my Wise Friend Abigail) I've decided that, yes, the voice may be correct but it shouldn't stop me from being happy. Because you know what? God wouldn't have given this whole thing to me if He didnt want me to be happy about it, at least as long as it lasts. And if it gets taken away I'll have a really good (looooooong) cry, and then move on. (Or die. Either one). But I'm going to embrace the joy while I've got it.

Man alive October is soon.

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