The New Years Post

Resolutions are stupid. Two years ago I resolved to go to Iraq. That totally didn't happen. And then last year I decided that this year I would just love people. And I don't really feel like I did that so much either.

This morning while I was sitting in bed blogging in my head (oh be quite, you know you do it too) I decided that maybe the key is making resolutions that you can't help but keep. I could resolve in 2009, for example, that I will:

-- Have a baby
-- Live somewhere where it rains a lot
-- Watch Friends on DVD
-- Go to the gym at least once

But that's cheating.

There are a few things that I really WANT to do in 2009 -- like be awesome looking again by the time my sister in law gets married, meet more wonderful people, build meaningful relationships, laugh and enjoy each moment as much as possible, start working hard to raise a wonderful young man ... you get the picture.

Sigh.

And even BETTER

So what's better than awesome storage shelves?!

A new trash can!

(I know! So exciting).

We were actually trash can shopping yesterday for one of those shiny new stainless steal pop-up cans. I registered for one for my wedding but didn't get it.

But they are soooooo expensive so I didn't buy it. Today I went and looked at another store to see how much it is there. Guess what? Still too expensive. Go figure.

But then... then! ... I got home, and what did I find? A Christmas gift. Luke's sister, Sandy, got it off our wedding registry for us for Christmas!

*Happy dance*

Happiness Is ....

My newly organized storage closet.

While walking through Lowes today in search of a step ladder for me (we had a gift card ...) we passed by the storage shelves.

I said:

"We should think about getting one of these for the kitchen."

And that turned into two -- one for the storage closet and one for the kitchen. And now my closests are BEAUTIFUL! I have wonderful space on my counters ... may even get myself a spice rack! AND I can reach all my kitchen appliances, even without my lovely new step ladder.

Yay.

A Week's Worth of Interesting Things...

... So many interesting things, in fact, that I shall now make an index.

1. The trip to and from Idaho
2. Baby update
3. The Grinch who Tried to Steal Christmas
4. Deliciousness
5. Various Christmas gift highlights
6. Our gift from Comcast


Ok. Now let's get started.

Idaho:

The trip was pretty darn uneventful in and of itself, besides the fact that it took us FOREVER to leave home (we were going to leave at 11 a.m. but then Luke didnt get off until 2:30 p.m. ...) and we got accosted with a flying pebble, hurtling towards us slow motion like and chipping the windshield of Abigail's car on the highway. Erm.

We ended up stopping for the night because, well, I was tired, and driving the rest of the way the next day.

The way home was equally dull and ... dull. And then we got home.

(I realize this was a riveting way to start a post ... keep reading)
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Ah, the baby. Everyone's favorite subject.

He's still in there, using my bladder as a trampoline. They claim he's getting bigger, but it's hard to tell looking at the mirror each morning. I will tell you that he kicks me more after I eat chicken than after I eat other things. Weird, but true. I have a doctor's appointment this coming week, the first in two months where they will weigh me. Day of reckoning. Sigh.
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This year's Christmas grinch brought to you by an out of control semi and an icy Ohio road. In all serious, though, it was not cool. Luke and I were summoned from slumber Christmas Eve morning by a phone call from Luke's sister where all we could hear was her screaming hysterically to someone (not Luke) "WILL THEY BE OK?!?!" ... thats never fun. We hung up and called her back, only to find that they had just been in a really serious car accident. Luke's sister and dad escaped all but unscathed. The driver of another involved car, however, died at the scene, and his mom, who was driving, was in very critical condition for much of the day.

All in all, she she suffered a variety of internal bleeding (stopped through surgery that evening), a shattered leg, shattered pelvic bone and badly crushed hip. She is currently completely sedated and on a ventilator pending a third surgery Monday to start repairs on her pelvic bone. She is also in traction and will likely spend the next several months in the hospital.

Yeah. So that sucks. Please pray for her ...
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Deliciousness = the apparently wonderful banana cream pie I just made for Luke. I am that kind of awesome.
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Christmas was awesome (grinch or not). Luke got me lovely diamond earrings. Going out of business jewelry store sales are my absolute favorite. I also got Luke tickets to see Beethoven's 9th at the Seattle Symphony Jan 4 ... I am REALLY excited about that.

Best part of the day, however, was watching Patsy open her box of dress up clothes. We didnt tell her what the clothes were for, just gave her the box. The first thing she pulled out was a pair of velvet blue shoes that were clearly too big for her.

Shelly: Oh Patsy, do you think those will be too big for you?
Patsy: Well probably, Shell, but I can just use them for dress up.

And that exchange happened exactly like that for the rest of the box, at least 15 or so items. She was so cute. I wonder if she was thinking "you dunces. you got me a bunch of clothes that are too big!" ... but of course she didn't say that. She just said "dont worry, I can use it for dress ups!"

Haha.
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Now, the gift from Comcast is completely unintentional, I'm sure (that or a reeeeally bad marketing strategy). A month or more ago I surprised Luke by getting him basic basic cable, you know, the kind that is network only, so that he could watch a football game on ABC. We would've just used bunny ears, only they wouldn't work. Erm. So we pay $13 a month to get HD Network channels.

Now, at one point in the past we had regular cable, the kind with USA and TNT, but got rid of it when I convinced Luke that we really didn't *need* it (plus I absolutely hate having ESPN on ALL of the time and Luke constantly flips channels which drives me nuts-o).

We had the $13 for a few days before we discovered that we got a few bonus channels including TBS and the Gold Channel (guess which one I like). But TODAY Luke discovered that we pretty much get ALL of the cable channels we don't pay for, including TLC, HG-TV, TNT, ESPN, ESPN 2, etc. (Guess which I'm excited about again).

Obviously I'm not so keen on having those dumb sports channels back, but for almost free ... eh ... I'll live. Plus Luke is SO excited. A few minutes ago he did a happy dance and ran over to give me a high five.

Luke: We have ESPN!!!!!!!(!!!) that's all I care about!!!!(!!!!)
Amy: Yeah, but what about ESPN 2??
Luke: That's just extra bonuses!!!

And then, out of nowhere after several minutes of silence.

Luke: Ah boy! I'm SO HAPPY!!

Haha. Kinda of makes having to watch sports worth it.

I Hate Snow (and other sundry items)

First off, Crazy Cookie Day. It was crazy. It was full of cookies. And it lasted most of the day.

And that's really the long and the short of it. All in all I put together two large platters of cookies and 17 individual plates for soldiers and their wives.

Photographic evidence:

Whoa dang.
~~~~~~~~~~~

One word: snow.

And there is a lot of it. Remember the story about how I almost died? Yeah, that would've happened again today except I knew better. How did I know? Because Luke called from the corner to warn me. He then spent almost a half hour driving about 1/2 mile trying to get to post. I feel like you should see a map demonstrating this.

Red = the distance Luke went in 1/2 hour. Green = where he was trying to turn off. Blue = Where it was backed up to.


That's what I'm talking about.

Grrrr.

I do think it's beautiful the way it's still falling .... I'll give you that. Other than that, I hate it with a PASSION.

Crazy Cookie Eve

Tomorrow is Crazy Cookie Day. That makes today Crazy Cookie Day.

And crazy it was.

I started the day by dashing off to a Christmas cookie exchange with the lady's Bible study small group. That was at 9:15 a.m. From there it was grocery store, post office, craft store and one other stop before heading home by 12:30.

And then the baking started. Between 1 p.m. and dinner time I made three batches of brownies, molasses cookies, gingerbread dough, sugar cookies and chocolate cookies. And fudge.

And then I cleaned the house. And did three loads of laundry and even folded it all. I also vacuumed. And made dinner. And fed my husband and then fed our now neighbor Ash who called after we were done essentially begging for food.

And how could I say "no" to that?

I also wrote thank you notes I've been putting off since, oh, October, and finished wrapping the Christmas gifts AND wrapped my mom and dad's birthday gifts. And made tags to the cookie plates.

And during all of this I even grew part of a human.

In short, today I was Super Amy. I tried to be Super Amy yesterday, but I was thwarted by ice and a plethora of stupid people. No such thwartage today!

And tomorrow I shall do it again! Crazy Cookie Day will start at about 9 a.m. at Natalie's where we shall make two different kinds of brownies and three different kinds of cookies.

For now, I am tired.

The Day I Almost Died

When it snows in D.C. it inevitably brings what we fondly call the "snowpocalypse." Schools close at even the threat of an inch. The government delays opening its offices. The mayor gets up and makes a speech about how DDOT is "ready" to salt the roads against the impending doom. Residents rush the grocery stores and buy bread and milk (I am not kidding about any of this).

When snowpocalypse finally arrives, DDOT takes a few hours to get its rear in gear, the roads are eventually salted and no one that I know of has actually died from lack of bread and milk.

Here in the great Northwest things are pretty similar ... except for one thing: no one ever gets around to fixing the roads. And so by the time delayed everything finally opens guess what? The roads are still covered with ice.

And thus the Day I Almost Died ... no, not from sliding about on the ice. This near death experience was brought by sitting in traffic for no less than 30 minutes and traveling no more than 100 feet.

I am going to detail this on a map for you because I feel it would be beneficial.

Yeah, see the little circle and red line? That was my progress over that time.

Finally I decided that things weren't moving ... yeah, I know, it took me a whole half hour to decide that?! Well, you know you think "If I turn around THEN it will start moving so I should just wait it out."

Obviously that was not going to happen. So I gave up. Harumph. (<---- similar to the noise I made when turning around, only more of them).

Now the real irony of all of this is that I was trying to go to the post office at Madigan to save myself time. I figured, hey, why bother with a post office normal people can go to when I can go to one and not stand in line at all?

I know, serves me right. After I turned around I made my way allllll the way around the highway, through the north part of post, across the highway, alllll the way back to the hospital for the post office. Why? Because I don't give up, dag blasted! That's why!

... Except when I realized that finding parking was going to be the typical guerrilla warfare, only this time, guerrilla warfare on ice (hey! it's like a fun show! except with car crashes!) I threw in the towel. And went to the grocery store ....

.... Where I spent an hour. And then a half hour at the drive through buying my husband lunch, which was cold when they gave it to me so you can imagine how it was when I finally got it to him.

And now I am home. Time for cookies, cookies, cleaning a free crib, putting away the groceries, making dinner, folding laundry, making cards for the cookie plates I'm making Wednesday (more about that insanity later) and other no doubt fun things. Not in that order.

Crib Update

Just so you know, the crib is kinda decent. Well, it's still in pieces on the floor in the baby room/Luke's room for all his crap ... and it needs to be cleaned ... but so far, so good. When I figure out whether it is still good when put together or not ... I'll let you know.

Oh, and since you want to see the bedding, heres a picture I found on an alternate Web site, also out of stock:

Found. Whew.

Rather than updating the last post AGAIN, I thought I'd stop by a new one and say ....

The long lost book is called "The Runaway Teddy Bear." It only took me typing in "bear" as a search in the Amazon.com childrens' book category and scrolling through 70 of Lord knows how many pages to find it. That's dedication, people.

In other news, friend Dana turned me on to Freecycle, a message board where people give their stuff to other people who need it. I was hesitant at first because, well, I don't like message boards. But Dana is *very* persuasive (or I'm just a push over?) and I finally joined up.

My first post was, no, not in search of that dumb book, but rather a crib for the illustrious Baby B (who is reminding me of his presence even now by periodically punching me in the bladder and elsewhere). I reeeeeeeeeally don't want to buy a new crib or even buy a crib at all because the dream is that, by the time we move to Georgia or wherever they send us after Luke gets back from The Bad Place, Almost Toddler B can be persuaded to sleep in our "big boy" twin sized bed and we won't have a to haul a stupid crib across the country. Obviously there is a small chance that we will have a future use for said crib (let's not talk about that now though) so any investment in it would probably persuade me to take it with us.

But if it's freeeee ... yeah, you see my point.

So. Someone responded to my crib request this morning. I'm going to give her a call to get some details. Obviously I am not picky when it comes to landing free stuff, however, when it comes to Baby B *nothing* can be too good. We'll see what comes of this.

Stay tuned.

Things of Childhood

Since I started growing a human I've started contemplating all the wonderful childhood things I need to pass on to him. Christmas, of course, also makes me nostalgic ...

And so I started the great search for things I love ...

This is harder than it sounds, mostly because all that stuff you enjoyed as a little kid you remember by contents, not title. And googling "book where a teddy bear goes to the woods and visits with real bears" doesnt really yield much helpful.

I did manage to find a few books that I want for Baby B:

Caps for Sale
Going on a Bear Hunt
Moongame
Miss Nelson is Missing
Harry the Dirty Dog
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble

I'm sure the list will continue.

Me and my trusty design consultant have pretty much settled on literary monkeys as the room theme. I love saying "literary monkeys" instead of just regular ones. It makes people go "huh?" and getting that reaction is one of my favorite things ever.

By literary monkeys I basically mean Curious George, Pippo of Tom and Pippo, and perhaps Where the Wild Things Are because, well, who doesn't like a rumpus?!

This is the bedding we've pretty much settled on ...

....

WHAT?!? NO!!!

The bedding is gone! It was there yesterday. It was there two days ago. And now ... gasp! ... it is gone! And the link doesn't work.

WHAT IS THE DEAL!?

And it was so lovely, green and brown and all sorts of lovely colors mixed in and not one little stitch of white (all the baby bedding has white as a main color ... and I dont want white. That just says "poop on me" to me).

Ahhhhh noooooooooooo


*We regret that we must prematurely terminate this blog post while Amy goes and consoles herself at the loss of her interior design anchor*

EDIT ---

Phew. Crises avoided. Apparently everyone is just out of stock at exactly the same time and they will have it again when, well, when they have it.

(We hope).

EDIT AGAIN! --

I totally forgot about Old Bear! How could I do this. Yes, I was googling again to find that elusive bear who goes to hang out with the real bears when I came upon Old Bear ... I LOVE Old Bear!

A Gym With No Point

In the experience of Amy there is one reason and one reason alone for going to the gym: to get skinny.

You know the drill, exercise a lot for a few weeks, get up the nerve to get on the scale, find that you've lost way less weight than you thought you had but that you had lost a little. So you keep going and eventually your clothes start to get a little baggier and you start to look in the mirror and see that you are starting to look increasingly awesome.

This is how the world works. Right?

But no. Not when you're growing a human. When you're growing a human everything happens the opposite of how you would expect it should.

This gym business is exactly what I'm talking about. I go at least four or five times a week. I work out for a least 45 minutes. I come home. I avoid the scale at all costs because, let's be honest, the expanding stomach ... and more... can't bode well in that department. And the clothes aren't fitting better ...

So what am I doing? I see no point to continuing the misery, except, well, I really am that bored.

Heh.

Cry Me a River

Maybe it's because I'm so well hydrated. I mean, those three nalgene bottles a day, glasses of milk and post workout Vitamin Water are really doing their thing ... but I cannot stop crying. I mean, I can stop, since I'm not crying right now, but over the last few days that has definitely NOT been the case.

*stupid pregnancy hormones*

But really I've had a reason. I mean, it feels like a reason. In reality, if I was a normal person it probably would not feel like the end of the world. Sigh.
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The reason: I've been fired. Kinda.

My boss, however, is so incredibly passive aggressive that she can't just say "I don't need you anymore, bye." Instead she says "business is slow so I'm not going to put you on the schedule anymore for the month of December. I'll let you know about January in late December."

Awesome. I can see this going on for a while. Like, January comes and she says "we don't need you this month, I'll let you know about February."

Uh-huh.

Now, why this is the End of the World: I now don't have anything to do. I mean, I can clean my house. And watch Friends. And type on this blog. And go to the gym A LOT. But as far as employment goes ... nada.

Or I could go get another job. Except not. Coffee places in the area aren't hiring. And it's not like anyone would hire me anyway. "Hi, I'm an increasingly large pregnant woman who needs to sit down every 20 minutes or so and has to go to the bathroom every half hour. You want to hire me!"

Yeah, I wouldn't hire me either.

Sigh.

Today, thank God, I am not as overly emotional as I have been for the past few days ... so this really seems like a slightly manageable problem. Like maybe NOT the end of the world. But let me tell you, for the past few days, the world has been on the brink of coming to a screeching halt.

The thing about this that really bugs me isn't the income thing ... because let's be honest, my little coffee house gig wasn't paying the rent or anything. Really, it just made me feel good to be doing something. And it wasn't just that I was earning a little money and able to buy groceries or whatever without ever asking Luke for cash ... I got to see and talk to these same, wonderful people every day. I felt like I was somehow adding to their lives.

Sigh.
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Yesterday I ran about one bajillion errands. Instead of going to the gym. I was tired and crying about nothing is more fun in your car by yourself than at the gym.

I was at Target feeling pretty darn sorry for myself when I picked up a book and started reading it. It made me laugh... a lot ... and so I bought it. :-)

In other news, I feel like Target should be given a serious talking to about their product placement. It is NOT Ok that the maternity clothes are intermingled with the plus sized clothes. Like I needed to be bummed out about buying those clothes anymore than I already am ... now I have to look at the tags to tell the difference between a size 1X piece and size medium maternity.

Boo.

The Great Reveal

Well, today was the day. I was so excited about the entire situation that I had trouble sleeping last night, and when Luke left this morning at 5 a.m. I couldn't go back to sleep. Ah. Good thing the appointment was at 8 a.m. My brain might have exploded had I needed to wait any longer.

Well, the big news is that it is a boy. DEFINITELY a boy. There is no secret about this and this child is the opposite from modest. He is chilling butt down in my insides, which apparently is going to be a bad thing later, but maybe he'll flip around.

There is also a tiny thing I could some prayer about ... there is a slight brain abnormality that will probably resolve itself by birth, but could be an indicator of a chromosome 18 abnormality. This could result in a variety of defects including trisomy 18, the most common, which basically means your kid is going to die.

Really, the odds are so low that this will actually end up being something that I shouldn't freak out about it. But in the Fragile State of Amy even little things become a big deal at weak moments... so just pray that I don't freak out for no reason. We are anti-freak out, people... anti-freak out!!

Now for your joy, photos of me looking fat, I mean, pregnant.



I'm a little sad they didn't weigh me today, so there's no way to say "I'm not as fat as I look!" ... sigh. But I totally exercise 3 or 4 days a week for 45 minutes or more at the gym, so let's just assume I'm awesome and skinny.

I Saw, I Conqured

Rather than risk our lives in the name of $8 jeans and $150 Blue Ray Players, Luke and I decided to sleep in this morning instead of hitting the stores at 5 a.m. ...

But then when we woke up at 9 a.m. shopping sounded like a good idea ... so ...

We did.

I am happy to report that I am overall pleased with our acquisitions. We hit Walmart, Best Buy, JcPenney, Bath and Body Works, Old Navy, Victoria's Secret, Sees Candy, Joann's and ... I think that's it.

Actually, I hit most of those by myself. Luke and I decided it would best to find his Christmas gifts, you know, without him. And I did find them! I am very proud of me. We bought only things we were going to buy anyway, sale or no, and got most of them for 50 to 60 percent off the normal price.

Good feelings.

I also got stockings. One for me, one for Luke one for Baby. We have no fire to hang them by with care or anything like that ... but this is a big step for me! I normally shun Christmas decorations because, well, I don't really like Christmas that much.

But I am trying to be awesome and familyish and all that stuff, so I bought stockings. And a seasonal door decoration.

Maybe next year I'll even get a tree and some decorations ...

Which brings me to: trying to enjoy the holiday season with Luke because next year he won't be here.

This is our first holiday season together ... and our last until at least 2010, probably. He'll go marching off to war next summer if the Army has their way, and it will be just me and Baby left to be merry on our own.

And so I'm trying to merry enough now to last for several years. On some level I feel like there is not enough I could possibly do to savor each possible holiday moment with him. I fear that if I try to savor it to hard I won't end up enjoying it at all ... or something like that. ... as if trying to live in the moment will ruin it all.
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Speaking of Baby (which I did like two paragraphs ago, in case you missed it), we have the ultrasound on Tuesday and I am VERY VERY excited. I get to find out what kind of kid it is and THEN I get to go baby clothes shopping!!!!

Yippee!! Stay tuned.

Most Cliche Post of the Year

Every year I post a rather cliche post on all the things I'm grateful for. Some stupid traditions should be carried on no matter how silly they are. Silly traditions like, for example, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade .. even though I don't know a majority of the people who are singing and hate all the commercials.

Luke doesn't like watching this, if that makes you feel any better about me watching it. First he started singing:

"Joyful joyful
We enjoy thee
Turkeys Floating in the Sky"

Then said:

"Whoa! Katie Couric is OLD!!"

(I said .... "that's Meredith Vieara")

"Well SHE looks old too!"

(he's right ... her face doesn't actually move when she talks. Something weird about that for sure)

Fair enough.

Anyway. Things I'm grateful for:

• Living by the Sound. I LOVE living here, even though the rain is stupid. But I love living by the water and compared to all the other stupid places the Army could make us live. You know, like Alaska. Or Kansas.
  
• Luke. I love him so much and he's pretty darn hilarious to boot. He agreed to watch the parade under the condition that he could make fun of it. I told him sure. However, when he started making fun of the White Christmas Broadway scene I said "you are only allowed to make fun of stupid things! This is serious!" and HE said "it's not serious. It's DANCING!" Hmph. He also thinks it's racist because they sing "may all your Christmases by white." Sure.
  
• Jesus. Life would be pretty boring without Him.
• The human I'm growing. At this time it takes some concentrated effort to be grateful since mostly it just makes me feel sick and tickles my insides and makes me boring and want to take a lot of naps. But eventually it will be an actual human that I will cuddle and feed and tickle and all sorts of fun things. ... so I'm grateful ahead of time.
• My friends and family both here and everywhere else. I couldn't do without the love and support of these people ... and when Luke leaves and I have a human they will be even more important
  

Bahamas, Baby!

Apparently casually mentioning a forthcoming Bahamas trip on the bottom of a blog post about nothing is a major no-no, so I'm going to make up for it with a post dedicated to my coming vacation.

Let's start with this: wooooohooooo!! Being warm for several days straight! Go me!

I was VERY excited about my cruise a week or two ago. I mean, we found a cruise on USAA out of Canaveral for $149 each for three days. Obviously that's good news. We convinced the road trip boys to stop saying silly things about going skiing as a group for their little "reunion" and start saying things like "being warm is awesome!" That's even better news.

A few anti-exciting things happened at the same time. First, I found an article in the New York Times that said Expedia was selling similar cruises out of Miami for $99 a ticket. Bah! Rain on my cheep cruise parade! Ugh!

Then I accidentally said something to Mr. Cruise Booker about how I'm pregnant. I mean, what's a little information among friends, right? Well then he's all "let's check on the cruise line's pregnant policy."

Ugh huh. And guess what, "guests cant be more than 24 weeks pregnant and must have a doctor's 'fit to travel' note stating such." And guess how many weeks I'll be? 25.

Obviously this is not going to keep from going. My first plan was to find out what this silly note thing looks like and then make my own fudging the dates a tiny weeny bit. Then I found out that said notes are written on prescription pads. And I don't have one of those.

Hmph.

So NOW my plan is to get a note, use a little creative white out action and only present it when asked for it. I'm also going to throw off the pregnancy scent by wearing a giant sweatshirt while boarding the ship. No one will even know I'm growing a human because I'll look like a giant red blob. Ah-hah! (I'll also be the only person wearing a giant sweatshirt in 75 degree Florida. This may or may not draw attention. I mean, people who frequent cruises are weird .... right? RIGHT?)

Things You Dont Care About

And now for "Things You Don't Care About," the time of day we write about things that you, dear reader, probably don't give a hoot over.

Commence to start.
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Today my coffee shop started carrying decent pastries again. This is a relief as a certain customer whose name is similar to Helmet has been complaining and driving me CRAZY every day saying things like "your muffins look like their from McDonalds."

Gee. Like I'm supposed to do something about that. Pshaw. Did I LOOK like the owner? No. But I did my small part to make the world better, pointed her towards the bakery with absolutely delicious pastries, and went my way.

And now the world is better.

Tomorrow I have to work with the employee I canNOT stand. She is the newest of the worker people, has a chronic overshare problem (I'm sorry, some details of your life require a history with a person before you go and throw it up everywhere), doesn't move an inch her entire shift, spied on a (now former) employee and tatttled to the owner on how said employee didn't work (ironic since she doesn't work ...), doesn't know what she's doing, doesn't care to learn, takes smoking breaks (nasty!), and TODAY she left a note saying that the person on second shift (that would be me) should be made responsible for cutting meat.

Not a good idea. Not doing it. No way. I hate people who are lazy. kakdsflkjasdlfj. That's what I think.
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Tonight ... ok it was more like last night and then warmed up tonight ... I made what Luke termed "the most delicious chilli." Right OK maybe that's not an exact quote, but it's close enough. It really WAS fantastic. I was a little worried because I messed with the spices quite a bit, putting way less of some stuff than called for because it just sounded TOO spicey. But it turned out great. I am awesomeness embodied. *pats back*
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A week from today I will know what kind of human I am having ... as the great Cpt. Hook once said "animal, vegitable or mineral?"

Nah, I'm pretty sure it's animal/human, so the question is really ... boy or girl? (hint: girl. Come on... who doesnt love the name Evangeline!?!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I am currently watching Wheel of Fortune. They filmed it Hawaii. I wish I was in Hawaii. Even if I had to hang out with Pat and his giant hair piece I'd be totally OK with it ... hello! Hawaii!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of places I wish I was, or you know, am going to .... the Bahamas!! We booked a cruise to the Bahamas the other day so we can hang out with Jeddy, Rachel, Nolan, Adiya, Dakota and Bull while being warm. What's more fun than that?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now I'm out of things to say.

Ready, Set ... stop

I'm not ready.

I thought I was for a moment there. I thought I finally, after so many months, had come to the point where it wasn't about the power trip anymore. I thought, maybe, it would just be at the point where it is about the craft, the telling of the truth, the information.

But it's not.

It's still about the power trip. It's still about having a purpose that's cooler than anyone elses. Its about how it made me feel, not about what I'm doing for someone else.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'll spend the rest of my life doing nothing more interesting than cleaning a house and being a mom. I'm afraid that I'll loose my insiders knowledge, my ability to hold an interesting conversation about politics or Senators and Congressmen. I'm afraid that I will be someone other people will pity.

I feel boring.

I'm a Terrible Person

I'm a terrible person. There are a variety of reasons for this.

I didn't exercise yesterday like I promised myself I would.

I brought a giant bag of Cheese-Itz to work with and have been eating them all morning.

I had to call my husband and ask him his unit number, etc. because I was filling out a form that asked or it and I couldn't come up with something to be there to save my soul.

It's my last day at WV and I'm blogging. Yes, I'm that bored.

I checked Facebook this morning instead of reading my Bible for 10 minutes.

And when given the opportunity to shine the light of Christ to a very needy coworker I totally blew it.

There's nothing like a Facebook argument on your wall to generate drama and a certain level of public attention. The issue was with a certain young coworker who has caused more than her share of drama since I met her. She has a variety of very big attitude problems with I could spell out here, but won't, except to say that she has a major problem with authority to the point where she just doesn't want to do what she's told or what is her responsibility. This has made her a terrible employee. She just doesn't do her job and everyone else has to pick up the slack.

The Facebook exchange:

Employee: lol so to be very honest you can quit pretending you like me now =]

Me: I don't know how to respond to a comment like that because if I say I do like you as a person you'll say I'm lying .....

Employee: idk just from everything ive heard that youve said about me pretty much since youve been here makes me wonder how you can be so nice to me to my face

Me: I think you are not the greatest employee. I do not dislike you as a person! Theres a big difference

Employee: ok


Wow.

I couldn't deny saying that I think she doesn't do her job -- in fact, is terrible at it. I am ashamed to say that I can't deny talking to other employees about this, not just to our boss (which I feel is an appropriate person to talk to). I have told the employee that she's not doing what she needs to do ... so we can put one point in the "did the right thing in this instance" category ...

But everything else was wrong.

I don't feel badly about this because I am sad that she doesn't like me anymore. Frankly, I can do without the affection of a misbehaving teenager. But I AM sad that this has destroyed any hope of getting her to love Jesus.

Sometimes I doubt the wisdom of giving humans the job of spreading the gospel. Since so much counts on how we act it just seems like a bad plan considering that I am a terrible person.

Super Amy is Gone

Or rather, she's not gone, she's just having her powers sucked out of her by the human she's growing.

I used to be Super Amy. My typical day last summer went something like this:

5 a.m. -- Work out
6:30 a.m. -- shower
7:30 a.m. -- Work from Ebs
8:45 a.m. -- Go to Hill, work from there
7 p.m. -- Go home
7:15 p.m. -- eat dinner
7:30 p.m. -- work on freelance stories or if none, attempt to unwind
8:30 or - 9 p.m. -- sleep

On Fridays I did all of that until 7 p.m., then worked at Ebs until it closed. Saturdays I worked all day at Ebs then helped run/run a church service or two. Sundays I worked at Ebs some more, worked out, hung out with friends.

In the fall the schedule was augmented to largely eliminate the working out, add 2 hours of Arabic class two nights a week, cut Ebs on Sunday, add babysitting, studying Arabic and making/serving dessert to Sunday night and alter each evening with talking to Luke until about 11 p.m.

THAT was Super Amy.

Super Amy is now tired. Now I get up at 7 a.m. or so, I work from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. or so, I go to World Vision two days a week after that until 5 p.m., I drive home, I make and eat dinner (and if not at WV I exercise, run errands, go to Dr., whatever instead) and then I am tired. Very, very tired. I go to bed around 8:30 p.m. most nights. I usually wish I could go to bed sooner than that.

When will I get Super Amy back?? I miss her.

On being Brave

I was reading Joshua this morning. You know the entire first chapter is about being brave and doing what God wants even though it's scary.

I know I'm a fraidy cat, oh, most of the time. I hide it well most of the time, but really I'm a big fan of running away.

I have a lot of friends out there right now going through some very scary things and they don't really have the option of running away.

This is for them:

Don't be afraid. Don't be dismayed. The LORD GOD is with you wherever you go and no matter what happens.

Confessions

The confessions of Amy Bushatz, spastic blogger:

Today was the first day I've written in my paper journal in almost two months. Even more shocking: it is the first time I've opened my Bible for a pleasure read in I have no idea how long ... too long.

I miss D.C. a lot right now. I miss the fall and election season (both my favorite time of year that -- so conveniently! -- are at the same exact moment). I miss being a part of the energy and excitement that is an election night in the newsroom. I miss personal relationships with the candidates (or as personal as they are journalist-to-subject), knowing the moment returns are in, not going to bed until way too late ... just the wonder of being at the epicenter of the process. I really miss that.

I don't like working at World Vision. I am bored, the office is cold, the commute is long and I never have time to exercise. I'm going to quit today.

Everytime I talk to my Dad (or so it seems. In reality it's more like once-a-visit or every other phone conversation. And since I talk to him, oh, once a year on the phone, that's not a very good record) he manages to make me feel guilty and fat. I was hestitant to call him because, well, it's just fun to talk to him, but he wanted to hear how I am doing. Not 2 minutes into that conversation he wanted to know if I've gained a lot of weight with the baby and gave me a lecture on how people who gain 40 lbs or more during their pregnancy or more likely to have fat kids. I found myself justifying the 1 or 2 lbs I had gained as of the last visits. Awesome. Ruined my day.

I feel guilty for not blogging more.

I ate four twizzler pull 'n peel sticks for breakfast. (It was delicious).

My head hurts all of the time. It's really annoying.

I listen to opera in my car. And sing along.

Every few days I have to tweeze little tiny black hairs from the left side of my chin. I am afraid that when I am old I will be one of those gross old ladies with black chin hairs because no one will help me get rid of them.

I still sleep with a stuffed polar bear (mostly when Luke is gone). Are moms allowed to sleep with stuffed animals?

I'm making chicken and rice-a-roni for dinner. I have no intention of actually eating the chicken.

Anticipation Killed the Cat (or something)

We head to Ohio tomorrow. I am not going to lie and say that Ohio is my most favorite place ever, because it's not. This is based mostly on the fact that the first time I went it was incredibly -- ridiculously! -- cold. And I do not just mean outside. I don't think I've ever been so cold sleeping before in my entire life. It was not. good.

They say first impressions are everything, and everything involved in that first trip was anti-good impression. I did not sleep on the way out there, and we all know how I get when I dont sleep. I cry, litereally, over split milk. And so you can imagine the things that brought tears to my eyes over that first day. Rather hurt feelings plus general frozeness does not get a place off to a good start in the Book of Amy.

But I must say the last trip -- about two months ago -- was overall kind of delightful. It was very warm (I love being warm!), we saw good friends (I love good friends!) and everything was reeeeally pretty. But those first impressions linger.

And so I'm kind of dreading this upcoming trip. Not because I don't think Ohio will be gorgeous in the fall. And not because I'm not looking forward to spending gobs and bunches of time with my wonderful husband who I've seen barely at all over the last month or so ... but because I know general tension and discomfort await. And I hate that.

(Also, because of all the human growing, flying makes me want to die. I seriously almost barfed multiple times during our last trip, and that's never a good feeling).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of human growing, things are going well in that department. I'm sporting me a cute little baby bump now, which is good because it justifies the pregnancy pants. I was not feeling so hot last week and decided a doctor's visit was in order. They did an ultrasound to look around on at my insides and we took a peek at the Rudabega while we were in the area. Yup, it's definitely in there. And yup, there's definitely only one of them. Also confirmed is that it is definitely human shaped, although I'm not entirely convinced that it's not a sea monkey instead of a person.

I asked the doctor if while he was rubbing gross goo around on my stomach with that supid wand thing he couldn't please tell me the gender. Sadly, the particular machine he was using was not high tech enough for such a revelation at this stage, and in explaining he made a rather big overshare and a certian large ... male ... phenomenona .. that would have to be present to identify it at that time. I wanted to tell him to please stop talking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh! Maybe when we're in Ohio Luke's mom will make some sort of berry or pumpkin pie. That would totally make me feel better about going.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I at long last uploaded photos from about August through mid October to my computer. Since I am not at my personal computer at this time, I cannot share them with you. However, Facebook can. Go there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think I'm going to vote this year. This is kind of a big deal. I didn't vote in 2004 ... or 2006 .... I've in the past taken a position that I shouldn't vote if there is a chance that I will, as a reporter, cover any of the candidates in their respective offices at any time. Perfectably reasonable, I still believe.

That excuse is now gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luke is getting home late tonight from work, which leaves me with the job of packing for him. I've never packed for him before, so we'll see how this goes. One thing is for sure: he won't be taking that stupid demin jacket with him. No siree.

The reason we are going to Ohio is, of course, his sister's wedding. There are a lot of things that I could say about that, but I won't say them. I will instead move on to what I shall wear.

The problem here is that I have one, that's right one!, dress that I can possibly wear in my bulging state. It is red. And Luke wants to wear his dress greens.

I don't plan to pack them for him. First of all, he looks way too sharp in those, and me in my dumb clearence maternity dress will look incredibly stupid next to him. Second point, me in red? With him in green? Way too much like Christmas. No thanks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Major pet peeve: Christmas stuff before Christmas time.

Some of my coworkers (one of whom is smart and the other... not ...on so many levels) decided that they should take down the lovely sign for delicious creamy blended drinks and instead hang up a sign featuring egg nog (which is gross!) and little pictures of snow men and christmas trees.

It is OCTOBER! It is NOT christmas! It is not even NEAR christmas! What is the problem with you people?!?!?!

(Also, someone ordered said stupid egg nog drink today and I involuintarily made a face. He then said 'maybe I dont want it' and I had to bail myself out of weird situation by saying things like "that was rude, I'm sorry," and "I'm pregnant, involunitary faces at the names of food items come with the territory. Forgive me. I make faces about hamburgers too.")

It's not just about apples....

I was reminiscing (I love reminiscing) about days of yore ... or ... you know, last fall ... and I realized that the truth is apples or no, I just like baking in the fall. Yesterday I made some scrumptious pumpkin apple muffins and today I discovered mini no bake graham cracker apple tarts. And they are delicious!

The truth is that I am supposed to make dessert for small group on Wednesday. Now, with humility never being a real strong point of mine, I have said a thing or two about making truly delicious desserts. I feel that this has to be my piece de resistance, if you will.

So I decided to go after something new and extra tasty -- thus landing upon this apple graham cracker business.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am entirely and truly addicted to Heroes. I just finished Season One, and, wouldn't you know it, Season Two arrived in the mail yesterday. Go me.

So while I sit here and wait out the timing on this ridiculous lab test so I can get on with my life, I'm watching the first episode of Season Two, see how like it.

And then I'm thinking about jetting down to the cafe by the water and reading a book while drinking a hot liquid. Mmmm delicious. Then I will visit the lab. And theeeeen I will take some of my delicious cooked things to the Fellowship House where I will probably not spend much time, but be sociable nonetheless.
~~~~~~~~~~

And tomorrow! Tomorrow morning Luke gets home, and I think he'll be here for a day or two. And then on Wednesday! I'm picking up Abigail from the airport (yay for THAT) and then on Saturday? I'm picking up Hyla (yay again).

10 Apples Up On Top!

I think my two favorite things about fall are the pretty color changes and the fruit. Let's be honest -- apples when they are in season are about as good as it gets. Apple pie. Apple crisp. Apple muffins. Apples and caramel. Apple cider.

Apples everywhere!

Tonight I made apple and pumpkin muffins -- my house smells so, so good. Delicious!
~~~~~~~~~

One of my other favorite fall things is reading books. And what's better than reading books? Buying books! Tomorrow is the public library sale and I am soooooo excited. I've promised myself I won't buy anything except childrens' books. Except under special circumstances, a really amazing book, something.
~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Luke is in the field doing field stuff and, you know, not talking to me. That's how it goes.

I love Fridays, though, because if I can get home early enough, I can take a late afternoon nap. (I LOVE naps!). And then I get to stay up a little later than usual watching movies or whatever. And THEN I get to sleep in as late as my little heart desires. Lord, but I love sleeping.

Now, tomorrow I have to stick pretty close to home, for the most part. Why? Because of the most ridiculous lab test in the whole wide world. And you really dont want me to go into detail about this because it's just ridiculous and kinda gross. So I'm going to stop.

Bathtub!

Luke left again this morning for the field. He was only back for two days ... just enough for me to realize how much I miss him when he's gone. As always.

Now,when we were on our honeymoon we drove past a creek -- MacDonald Creek -- which prompted me to sing a song about how Old MacDonald had a creek... and in that creek he had a manatee [best thing I could come up with right then].

After being in the field for several days Luke is very tired and wants to sleep (get this) even more than I do. Boy howdy, that's a lot. So he snookered me into going to bed Tuesday before I was tired enough to go to sleep. So to entertain myself (and OK, fine, to annoy Luke) I decided to lay in bed singing the bedtime classic Old MacDonald had a Manatee, with a fun fill in the blank feature for Luke.

But Luke was, well, sleeping. So the song went something lik this.

Amy: Old MacDonald had a manatee, ee-i-ee-oh. And for that manatee he had a .... [waits for Luke to answer]
Luke: thermals
Amy: Thermals?
Luke: Thermals
Amy: no, a bathtub!
Luke: no, make him take thermals.
Amy: [huh?]
Luke: [sits up suddenly] did I just say thermals?
Amy: ummmm yes, instead of bathtub. Weird.
Luke: I was having a dream that Sgt. [blah blah blah] was saying that [soldier blah blah blah] was going out, and I told him to have him take his thermals. And Sgt. [blah blah blah] said "no, a bathtub!" and I said "no, his thermals!"


Uh-huh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the part where we say a lot of good things about Hyla, who is coming to visit me in a week and a day!

Woohoo! Now, she made the mistake of hitting me up 15 minutes after I got out of bed, on a very cold day a few hours after my husband left for another four days in the field. Excitement for anything, save more sleeping, is hard to round up at that hour.

However! At 4:55 p.m., after eating some delicious food, excitement is more than ready and, so, YAY HYLA!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of delicious food, I've been craving grilled ham and cheese from the basement cafe on the House side of the capitol building. Major problem with that is the location of the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C. and me, well, here.

So I had to come up with my own ... I pretty much did that. So I ate two of those, without worrying about gaining a bazillion pounds...
~~~~~~~~~

And why am I not worried about gaining pounds? Because I went to the doctor yesterday, heard my baby's heartbeat and found out that I had gained LESS than a pound in the last month! And don't you know that I've been pigging out on cinnamon rolls, nachos and all sorts of tasty things. So I can eat two delicious sandwiches and chips if I want to or not ....

Embracing the Pants

Several weeks ago I bought pregnancy jeans, then stuck in the closet for a rainy day ... or a day when my other normal person pants or so tight and I am so fat that they are necessary.

This morning it started raining ... and about five hours later I realized that my favorite stretchy size 8 cropped jeans were really uncomfortable in the waist.

After walking around in my sweat pants for an hour or two (OK, fine, I put them on and then took a 1.5 hour nap. technicality) I realized that it was time to embrace the pants.

And boy howdy that was a good idea -- these suckers are so comfortable! No stupid waist band, just awesome stretchiness. And I can breathe. It's like a new day in pants land.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About all that rain. I was really OK with this whole constant raining thing when I moved here in January. It rained and rained and rained all the way through June, and I was still OK with it.

But then -- THEN -- I realized that sometimes it is sunny here. (!!) It's actually NICE!

And so when it started to rain again ... well, now I'm not so OK with it. Because I know it CAN be simply beautiful

*and the rain, rain, rain came down, down, down ....*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luke is in the field. Getting rained on. I hope he's OK. His phone is off tonight.

Days of Former Fame

Days of former fame, ah yes, when I sat down at my blog and wrote about absolutely nothing in a wonderfully entertaining way. What happened? What happened to blogging with reckless abandon?
Oh days of former fame ...
~~~~~~~~~~~

I ate oatmeal for dinner tonight. This seemed to be a good alternative to nachos, which is the other thing that sounded good. Nachos has sounded delicious since, oh, last Friday when I had it for dinner. It also sounded delicious Saturday (when I had Mexican food with chips instead), Sunday (when my nacho attempts were thwarted by an evil restaurant with a broken oven) and last night (when I ate nachos made by me). I plan to eat nachos Thursday at the "coffee," held at Farrelli's.

My point is that sometimes I need to not eat nachos for dinner. So I ate oatmeal instead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm watching Lipstick Jungle, which seems to be a tamer version of Sex and the City, a show I love .... minus all the way too graphic sex scenes. It's just ... too educational. Yeah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luke left again this morning for the field. This time he is just on Fort Lewis, with cell phone, and coming home next week for two days. It just doesn't feel like he's really gone. So I'm not upset about it.

Plus, being completely honest here, I haven't been sleeping that well and I think it's because the room is hot with the boy/heater. I miss my boy/heater, and when he gets home we'll try sleeping with the window open a little bit more so that I am not so hot. And then maybe it will be better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

This evening I walked around the lake and talked to God. I miss walking and talking to God, and having time at my favorite hang out just before work to write and talk to God. I need to find a new Ebs .... Lacoste is not it.

On Sleeping

Luke got home Friday morning at 1 a.m. As I was getting into bed at 8:30 p.m. Thursday I thought to myself "hm, maybe he will surprise me and get home tonight at like 1 a.m. instead of tomorrow at a normal person's hour." This seemed like a pretty fair thought because, let's be honest, the Army hardly ever does anything one could consider within the realms of normal personage.

Sure enough, at almost 1 a.m. on the dot the house door opens (steathly, to be sure, but this is single Amy subconsciously on the look out for intruders here, so natrually it couldnt have been stealthy enough to keep me from waking) and in saunters Luke after 10 days gone and no communication.

Just like that.

The problem with a husband coming home is that you've spent whatever amount of time that he's been gone getting used to sleeping alone and kind of liking the fact that there is no boy/heater systematically scooching onto your side of the bed all.night.long with what appears to be one single objective: pushing you on the floor. You kind of get settled with the idea that you're in a large bed here and, if you want to sleep diagonal with your head on one side and your feet on the other, by gum, you can and will. And do.

And an even greater problem is this -- that when the husband comes home after such an absence at 1 a.m. (think: mid Amy slumber), you don't have any time to reasses your sleeping philosophy for the night before bedding down and are all set on the diagonal position. And of course he wants to get in bed too. And of course you can't just fall back asleep because now you have to stay on your own side of the bed and gird your loins against the pushing. And all that stuff.

It was a restless night.

Plus being awake for an hour randomly in the middle of the night never equaled good rest for me.

I'm thinking about purposefully taking up a benedryl addiction. Well, not purposefully being addicted, but taking benedryl regularly knowing that I could form a habit. Whatever. The point is it helps me sleep all. night. long. ... and dreamlessly, too. Both of those things have been evading me recently -- I have terrible, weird dreams and wake constantly, even without the boy/heater to take up space ...

Unsupervised

They shouldn't let me into the grocery store without supervision.

Because most food does not make me want to eat it, at least at the moment, I've taken to going to the store and buying everything that looks delicious. And of course the whole situation is that much worse when I'm hungry.

Yesterday was innocent enough. Luke and I had fresh tortellini for dinner the night before, and I thought it was tasty, so I stopped to get some more.

But if you give a moose a muffin ...

And I saw cheese, and put it in the cart.

Oh! Ice cream!

And look, mozzarella sticks.

Mmmmm cheese its!

(and then I found the halloween candy aisle ...)

This is what I ended up with at home, after all was said and done:

I told you, dangerous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luke was supposed to leave yesterday for a five week give-or-take stint in the field. You can imagine my surprise when he walked in at about 1 a.m. I was up for at least an hour talking to him ...

And now I'm tired. Midnight interruptions with work the next day are not my thing.

Pants on Fire

Liar, liar ....

This post brought to you by (of all things) Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy, which got me thinking about the lies I tell myself to make me feel better.

Example: I am actually happy Luke is leaving for five weeks (with a visit or two home) because now I don't have to cook for him. Cooking makes me feel so yucky that I just have been avoiding the task, and I feel bad always feeling bad when he's around. So, he's leaving. Yay.

Truth: This sucks. I hate it when he leaves. WHO is going to feel sorry for me all the time while he is gone?! WHO is going to keep me company? WHO is going to laugh at my so not funny jokes? No one. No one because Luke is gone with the stupid, evil Army.

Or, another one:

Lie: Most of my pants dont fit because I'm pregnant.
Truth: The pants dont fit in more areas than the stomach -- if it was only a tight waistband maybe I could deal. But no, its the hips, the rear, the whole nine yards is tight. That makes me mad.

And again....

Lie: I'm a morning person. I love getting up for work and being here by 6:45 a.m.
Truth: At one time, not untrue. Yes, at one time I did like getting up early and I did sleep five hours a night and was just dandy ... but now, NOW I go to bed at 8:30 p.m. and want nothing more than to sleep until 7 a.m., with a half hour nap at about 2 p.m. just to hold me over for the rest of the day. I. Love. Sleeping.

Now, go and contemplate your lies.

One Doodle that Can't be Undid

So, my eggo is preggo, which explains the whole "I'm not posting these days because I feel like crap" thing.

Therefore, a quick update to satiate your burning ... eyes.

1. I think I'm due in May
2. If you ask me if this was planned, I will stab you in the eye. With a fork. Or whatever. That's just how I roll.
3. I sleep like 10 hours a night, plus napping anytime I can snag one. I've always been a supporter of the napping ... industry ... this just legitimizes the whole thing.
4. I started working at World Vision in the afternoon three days a week
5. I still swim as many times during the week as I can
6. I really like ramen and cottage cheese right now. No, not at the same time.
7. Luke is leaving for five or so weeks Tuesday, so between all the sleeping and eating and swimming and working I should be good.

The End (for now).

Vicarious Hindsight

I'm not an eavesdropper, really.

OK, fine, I'm not going to fool you so I'll just admit that I am -- but really it's a finely practiced skill learned for the greater good.

Back in the day it was: you say something really interesting in a conversation I overhear, I get to write it in my newspaper. So, see, greater good. Now, granted, it's more like: you say something interesting, I do nothing except hopefully satiated my desire to know what it is that you people are talking about over there.

But whatever. The point here is that the coffee shop is a fan-tas-tic place for burrowing in on others' business without being noticed. I sit and pretend to read my book, and you talk to your friend and keep me entertained. Is that so hard? No.

And that's exactly what I was doing today, only with slightly more vigor than usual. You see, today was particularly terrible on a personal level, probably mostly because from the moment I left my house at 6:37 a.m. I was exhausted. Yes, I had just gotten out of bed. Yes, I had slept all night (restlessly, but slept). No, I did not feel awake.

The day was one of those where, at any given moment, I was libel to give into the urge to burst into tears, based solely on the Army being really, truly awful and taking away Luke for long chunks of time in preparation for taking him away for a longer chunk of time later (and somehow thinking that system makes sense). I mean, do they not realize that they are leaving my poor heart in tatters? Don't they know that I'm not a big enough girl to do this by myself? Who are these people, and don't they have a soul!??!!

That is the state I was in when I began eavesdropping with all my might on a group of oldish ladies sewing cloth bags to send with missionaries overseas (ah yes, prime candidates for interesting stories). Apparently a bunch of retired Army wives (like most folks in this area), they were exchanging stories of their younger years, having children and what not ....

When one woman started telling, with a smile even, about the time she gave birth to her son while her husband was away at Officer Candidate School, and then after the Christmas break moved down there with him. She lived in a house, alone, outside of whatever base they were at where she spent her days caring for a newborn and doing laundry at the laundromat. She got to see her husband about once a day, for a few minutes at about 5 p.m. The deal was the married men would be released to the parking lot to talk to their wives through the window of their vehicles (wives not allowed to get out, husbands not allowed to get in) and then were recalled by their officers. That's right, kind of like prison.

And she told this all in the most cavalier of ways, with a smile on her face. And her friends sat there and laughed and said "ah, yes, the new Army wives must learn," as if they, too, knew. I had the strongest urge to go sit on the floor at their feet for story time, and learn something from these people who, frankly, may have laughed at my tragic attitude. And it would've been OK.

All this makes me think that perhaps I won't perish from all of this -- this woman didn't -- and maybe someday I'll be able to turn around and laugh about it, like I do already about the rainy June day not so long ago when I lost my keys, husband and dignity all in one tragic moment.

Next time I see that woman I plan to 'fess up and thank her for allowing me to listen. In other news, I took a two hour nap after work and feel much, much, much, MUCH better.

Why, oh why, oh why-oh?

Why oh why, oh why-oh?
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better go home.
-- Bernstein, "Wonderful Town"

OK, maybe I don't feel like that, um, at all. But Ohio was very nice this time nonetheless.

Reasons:
-- It was warm, not freezing-I-could-die cold
-- I saw a ton of a really awesome, really good friends. It's amazing how even when you haven't seen people for a very long time you can still click just like ... that ... based on past, shared experiences.
-- Good to spend time getting to know Luke's family, who lets face it, I'm a little biased against based on past experiences.

In short, other than the whole flying thing (I felt SO sick both times) it was an awesome experience. Ohio is truly beautiful in the summer (I was shocked). If I was more into the whole ... corn fields ... thing, I might like to live there.

But I'm not. And upon landing in dreary Seattle, seeing the Sound in the distance and being surrounded once more by trees I remembered how much I love it here. It's not that I don't miss D.C. -- I do, but this is more homeish to me than anywhere I've lived since my real "home" on the foggy beach in California.

As for the reception, it was lovely. I met a ton of people I do not know and may never see again, but that doesn't matter. Luke cares about them so it was good to be a part of it.

And now back to the old grind ... or is it a grind? I've got a job I love, friends that are wonderful, a husband that loves me, freedom to do what I want several hours a day, a swimming pool that isn't half bad most of the time (stupid Army people not withstanding), a beautiful area to live in and interesting adventures almost every weekend.

Coming soon: Amy's first real state fair experience with a real fair boy. Brought to you by the Puyallup Fair.

Rain drop on roses, Etc.

And now for the time of day where I tell you my favorite things, because you know how much you care!

Favorite chips: Miss Vickies jalapeno, because they are spicy and awesome
Favorite Asian lady: Crazy Asian Lady, the one that takes naps in her boat of a town car outside my coffee shop, which she always manages to park in such a way that I'm sure she will one day damage something.
Favorite drugged-Luke moment: When, dispite having his wisdom teeth pulled yesterday morning, he insisted on eating marshmallows and chocolate. "I'm just going to let them melt in my mouth," he said as he clutched the candy. I took them away and hid them in a closet.
Favorite pool: Keeler, bar none. This is the secret pool portal for special swimmers only, but I found it -- yes me! And if I can get in there, I get to swim mostly alone and in a pool that is not 1,000 degrees (this is a rant for a different time, but believe me, it is coming. I just have to wait until some stupid Army dude pisses me off enough, and then - bam! you're in for it).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, in coffee house land, I'm trying to take over the world. I finally decided that my whole semi-obsession with managing this dump is not so much based on desire for glory as boredom, and therefore I don't really care if he pays me more. I just want something more to do ...

It really didn't take any convincing -- I was surprised.

"I think there's enough down time, that, if you wanted, I could do the scheduling for you," I said.

"Oh! Excellent," said Bossman. And that was it.

We'll see how this goes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ah, Ohio. God's country? Not sure. But we are going there anyway ...

Maybe I just feel completely unprepared for this trip -- maybe I just haven't obsessed over it enough, or I just don't care. We'll be there for 4.5 days, whether I like it or not, meeting my future brother in law and seeing some good, old friends from College Days of Yore.

Pictures forthcoming, no doubt.

Really the thing is that I'm just sick of traveling. Why can't I be left here in peace? I don't want to get on a plane or go anywhere for a VERY long time after this ... oh wait, we have to go back to Ohio for Luke's sister's wedding in October. Sigh, so much for that.

Blah.

Hating on Dentists and Other Stuff

Last year the dentist told me "you may need a root canal," and I said "need or do? because that's different ..."

And I walked out without one.

Yesterday I was not so lucky.

"Yup, root canal," the jolly dentist said. And without even pausing for a "ughnonoidontwantone!" he started drilling.

And now I have a hole in my tooth with a temporary filling until they can slap another one on there. Meanwhile, the temp one was so sharp it has cut up my tongue and, after filling it down myself last night with a little tiny nail file so that I could swallow at all (my family has a long and glorious tradition of self-dentistry, starting when father sanded down his own tooth and followed by him super gluing it back on another time), I went to the dentist and had them do it for me.

Mmmk.

Meanwhile, I'm really tired all of the sudden, so I'm going to stop writing this now. But tomorrow you may expect:

-- A riveting list of some of my favorite things
-- How I will systematically take over the world (starting with the coffee shop, obviously)
-- Thoughts on my impending doom ... er ... trip to Ohio

Rainy Days and .... Everyday

After sweltering and melting into a tiny little puddle of Amy for three days last weekend, the Washington weather turned and left us with (just guess) rain. Lots and lots of rain. Rain pretty much for five days straight.

And now it's beautiful again.

Don't get me wrong -- even the day it was so wet that I could've kayaked to work I was grateful for the temperature change. That 90-something sun shine left my apartment very, very stuffy and no amount of window opening could change that.

We plan to enjoy today's sunshine with a trip to Point Defiance, one of my favorite area places.


Maybe we'll stop for chowder at a restaurant down there that makes the most delicious clam chowder ... mmm....

Which brings me to all the hunger. I've been basically starving lately, and it's really starting to drive me crazy. While I was contemplating the bajillion pounds this problem is libel to force on me if I cater to it, I decided that from now on I'm basically going to ignore the hunger and drink more diet coke.

That's right, diet coke is the answer to everything.

Abigail, I feel you should remember that.

And now there's a hole

It was an Anne of Green Gables moment -- magical, really -- or maybe that's too cheesy. But nonetheless, I sat in Bible study that first time and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the two of us would be fast friends. I had had that moment before, standing in front of Ebenezers with Dana, informing a certain Hyla that we should be friends. I knew what that moment meant -- I had found a kindred spirit.

When that stupid Cpt. loud mouthed at that ridiculous fight night last spring that all upcoming captains would be moved away from Fort Lewis, it was like my little stable world -- and stability is sooo anti-Army -- was crumbling around me. I jabbed Luke, "they canNOT leave," I said, "they canNOT."

"Yes they can," he said. "That's what people in the Army do --they leave."

And so they did. I didn't get to say goodbye, either, but maybe that's for the best. After all, I suck at goodbyes and always end up cracking slightly out of place jokes about things that really aren't that funny to start with.

The good news is that she will come back, and maybe my little anti-stable world will teeter a little less, what with all the sarcastic wit and such.

Abigail, we need you. Counting the days until your return.

Amy Loves Sports! A special this week only!

You heard it right, I love sports -- but only until the Olympics are over.

I first noticed this strange sports loving phenomenon a few years ago during the world cup when I felt inlined to ditch work (and did!) to watch the USA team play a mid-day match. Unprecidented. So weird.

Under normal circumstances you couldn't pay me to do something like that, and it's well known that I see major sporting events as an opportunity to talk to my friends non stop and eat chips while boys watch the TV for a few hours.

And yet this morning I watched a full two quarters of the USA v. China basketball game of my own volition and, shocking, actually enjoyed it.

And then I watched volleyball. And then I watched swimming. And then I watched diving.

It's out of control over here!

And so I ask myself -- why? Why the duce would I love these sports and not others?

Because when it comes to the USA as one cohesive unit playing against all the other countries I actually care. It's clean cut, us against them -- and for some reason I just cannot grip that when it's up between whatever team and whatever team. BORING!

Luke thinks that I'm crazy and that it's all the same thing. Also, he doesn't understand how I can enjoy the sport and not be screaming at the TV.

"Because screaming at the TV helps the people on the other side win. They feel it in their spirit," says Luke.
"And your football team has not won the championship in two years despite the screaming because...?" I ask.
"I haven't been able to watch the game in two years! I was working. I don't always scream while I'm working." he says.

Uh-huh.

That Old Black Habit and Happy Birthday to Me

I have a bad habit of getting really, really t-oed when I feel like I'm being ignored/left out/slighted. You can pretty much bet large quantities of money on this problem: if I'm mad because of a circumstance, it's probably because I feel like I'm being intentionally passed by, or unintentionally forgotten (which is worse, because -- hello!? -- how could anyone possibly forget about amazing, fun, everyone-wants-to-be-around Amy!?).

Enter the FRG. Remember how I was all "I'm going to be the FRG superstar?" Well that lasted approximately one week. And then the person who actually communicatd with me left the Charlie Company. And I never heard from the FRG leader.

Ah, that was OK (thought I), because I wasn't technically an Army wife yet and so technically they didn't need to want me to help them.

But then the wedding came and went, and I still had not heard from anyone. Then my husband went to the field for six days, a time when (rumor has it) the FRG sends emails noting changes of plans in return times and all that jazz.

Still nothing. I chose to ignore this whole thing until Luke came home and informed me that I am supposed to be the POC for his platoon -- that would be point of contact, who calls other wifes periodically to let them know about stuff, like the field business I was talking about a bit ago.

Now I started to get a little miffed. I mean, awesome me would love to be involved, but people are going to have to make a little effort to reach out first, cuz there's no way I'm going to do this if no one wants me around.

Fast forward to last night -- I didn't go to a girl's dinner at a friend's house because an FRG meeting was scheduled and, so help me, I was going to make an effort to force these people to want me around. ... that plan would've been awesome, only excepting they moved locations without telling us (or maybe they told Luke in a message on his cell phone, but he deleted it without listening to the whole thing... and let's be honest I was mad at him but I would've done the exact same thing) so we couldn't find them. And a senior NCO's wife/officer's wife coffee scheduled for Thursday evening that I've been hearing about from other people for some time? Still not invited.

A-nnoy-ing.

I stewed about this for approximately two hours before the captain's wife in question called me ... claims to have been sending me emails for a month, but never got a response (um, so, call?). We'll assume she was sending them to the wrong address (what IS it with people and that? Throw back to the mayor's press secretary in D.C. who refused to admit that he had my email address wrong when I complained for an entire year about NEVER getting his press releases ... only to announce two days before he left the job that "oh yeah, I realized I typed your address wrong" ... that man was very tall, but one of the stupidest people I've ever dealt with, but I digress).

For the record, she did seem embarrassed.

I would like to think I was upset about this whole situation for reasons beyond just feeling slighted. I really do want to be helpful and involved with people who need people, and I am certain that the FRG is the perfect way to do this ... it is heart breaking, on some level, to be left a place where that is impossible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday to me.

A year ago today the love of my life got his clarity all unblocked and gave me call to tell me that he was tired of fighting it and we should be together. A simple blog post that meant so, so much when read by the right person.

And now I'm married to him, not to mention one digit greater -- a whopping 24-years-old.

No major plans for celebration. As The Girl Who Ruins Surprises I expect myself to accidentally foil all birthday attempts through stubbornness, oblivion or sheer stupidity. Therefore were we really surprised when I found one of my birthday gifts from Luke while he was gone hidden in his shirt drawer? (I maintain my innocence -- the shirts were in desperate need of refolding and reorganizing. Is it my fault that he chose to hide it somewhere where I go regularly to put away his laundry? I think not).

District Happiness

It's been a lovely two days in the District, I'll not lie. I arrived not super exhausted, proceeded to Ebs and saw my people, ate lunch with a friend took a short nap, swam, ate dinner with my Hyla, slept, more Ebs, more lunch with people, more dinner with Hyla, more swimming.

And now my husband is on his way here. Yay.

I was very afraid coming back I would feel that I miss this place and how I lived here so much that I would want to stay. Sure, Luke would be a strong lure otherwise, but I was afraid I would feel ... overcome ... by the past.

I am relieved, however, that that is not the case after all. Walking down my streets, past the buildings I once haunted, seeing people I used to spend all my waking moments with, swimming in my awesome (cold!) public pool ... and I realized that really I don't miss my former life here so much as I miss the people and the relationships.

I feel that is acceptable.

And now, for (Nolan) wedding fun.

Speaking of wedding fun, guess what I scored? My wedding photos!!! Woohoo! I'll upload some here later, meanwhile they are on Facebook. Check it out.

Kill Joy, Part II

The problem with this blog, as with all others, is that I tend to only post when I really have something eating me that I just have to say.

And so it becomes a brain dump for all my being unhappy and Army hating, when really there are many days in which I love (OK love is a little strong of a word) the military and don't mind being an Army wife, and have a lot of fun.

So, in the name of not making me sound miserable ALL of the time, I'm going to start this post by telling about all the good times I've had since Luke was gone, and say things like "I had tons of fun without him" and "I may actually be able to function long term with him leaving and coming like this -- surprised me too."

So, let's start with last Wednesday -- went to Bible study and it was actually really good without Luke. I doubted the possibility of that. I got to talk about D.C. for an extended time with people who are moving there, and that always makes me happy.

Thursday -- saw Julia and Veeka, both of whom I enjoy a lot and had a lot of fun at the park. Thursday evening was Navs, which was also super fun.

Friday -- Went to the park with Gen and my not dog and Gen's not baby. Went to a birthday party Friday evening with Gen and Jeff and several other very fun people and played my favorite game, Apples to Apples.

Saturday -- I was thinking about going kayaking, but I ditched that idea and decided to go hiking with friends. Photographic evidence:
It was pretty much good times. That evening I took some work gals to a movie on post, where we saw the funniest pre-video of the national anthem ever made, featuring a moose. I laughed. (I also loved the movie, Get Smart).

Sunday -- Went to church, actually played sports with Navigator friends, went to the pool, came home because I was tired.

Monday -- My one month wedding anniversary. Where is my husband? Not here and has not talked to me in six days. But I am still OK! Why? Because I got to talk to Abigail for an hour on the phone and my husband was coming home in only on day and then I got to wash my carpet. And THAT made me really, really happy. And I organized drawers. And cabinets. And it was fantastic.

Now is the part where things go down hill. But you can see that I was very happy and well adjusted for several days there.

Last night (after all the cleaning) I went to bed, where I spent hours dreaming that Luke did get home before I left, but I couldn't talk to him or spend time with him because a bajillion people kept coming in and interrupting. By the time I woke up this morning I was really mad and stressed out and basically ready to see my husband again.

So I started watching the phone. He was supposed to call when he got home, likely this afternoon.

And it did ring. But not because Luke was calling. Basically everyone EXCEPT Luke called.

So I kept waiting. Gen was scheduled as back up driver just in case the Army was stupid and Luke wasn't home yet. But of course that wasn't going to happen.

And I kept waiting. And I made brownies. And then I walked around and admired my floors. And then I watched the Sopranos. And then I admired my floors some more.

And then my phone rang -- Luke, calling from not his phone (because he doesnt have it with him) to say that he wont be home until at least 10 p.m. tonight, and that I should call Gen and have her take me.

That converastion lasted 3 minutes -- the longest (and the only time) I've talked to him since last Wednesday. It was mostly silence because I couldn't talk. There I was again, stupid Army wife who hates the Army, crying on her couch because her husband is always gone.

Now I definitely do NOT want to go D.C. at all. I just want to sit here and wait for him to come home. And I do NOT want to fly all night. I do NOT want to eat lunch with anyone tomorrow, unless it is Luke, and I do NOT to walk around my former hometown, fighting off the urge to wish I still lived there without first seeing my wonderful husband and being reminded of why I left to start with.

Awesome, I'm a complete mess again ... so much for doing well.

Spotted: One Stinky Cheese Man

It's official -- the entire Army smells like feet.

Boy feet, specifically.

I first noticed (and how could I miss it) while sitting in Luke's office being invisible last week. I made him take me home mostly because I didn't want to be invisible (maybe I'll go off on this phenomenon another time), but partly because I could not stand to hang out in a place that smells THAT bad.

How the heck do they work there?! And you know it's not just the smell of Luke, but the scent of about 20 or 30 dudes in uniform and tan boots wandering around, being productive (yet another subject worthy of discussion -- what are these people actually DOING all day?! I mean, I know what Luke does... I think ...)

It was not until last night while sitting in Bible Study in a brand new chapel on the North side of Fort Lewis that I decided that the scent is not just relegated to offices but permeates the entire post. We were using a children's classroom -- a classroom where the boots shouldn't be! -- and there it was, that funky soldier foot smell.

Dis.Gus.Ting.

And it really is everywhere -- the PX, the commissary, the gym (ok, that actually makes sense), the chapel ...

How do we make it stop? And what if it tries to come into my house ...maybe we'll just start requiring the husband to put all dirty clothes straight in the wash immediately after coming home ...

Kill Joy

I was doing fine most of the morning -- sure my husband was leaving, but I saw him off from the my bed this morning half asleep with my eyes closed without crying really at all (the sleeping helped with the not being emotional). I was fine, that is, until he called me just to talk one more time before he falls off the face of the planet.

That was such a sweet thought ... but it ruined my composure.

By the time I got off work the only thing that was going to Save The Day was 1/2 hour in the park and, more importantly, 1 1/2 miles in the pool.

Flashback: other than cheapish groceries, the Army's only saving grace in my book is the free, clean pools.

Obviously they are hell bent on making me hate them as much as possible ... because though I planned my swim around the Fort Lewis pool schedule, when I got there they were closed for ROTC training, another pool was closed and the third only had two lanes open for lap swimming -- that's right, two lanes servicing the whole base. I didn't even bother going over.

I thought the Air Force would be there for me if the Army wasn't, but no -- their pool was closed too.

And now I'm royally pissed, mad at the Army and finding my only solace in a box of Wheat Thins.

(i hate the army)

Inappropriate!

There are some things that are just not OK to say. As my friend Lawren pointed out yesterday, there are some things you should never, ever ask someone that people for some reason ask anyway. Why would they do that? Not sure

.... Things like "How does it feel to be married?" (I have no idea how to answer this question. I know it's asked with the best of intentions, but what do you REALLY want to know when you ask this??) or, worse, "Was this baby planned?" (the subject of Lawren's justified rant).

There is one thing, however, that is worse than all those -- not a question, but a statement in response to my complaints about the Army being stupid and my husband leaving for six days at a time with no cell phone (even though two days ago he was only supposed to be gone four days and could bring his cell phone) ...

"Well, he's in the Army, so you better get used to it."

Ah, thank you, person who probably does NOT have a husband in the Army and has NO idea why it is so hard, so much harder than you would think ... how no matter how much you tell yourself that he comes and goes and it will be OK, it's not. Thank you, person who will never have to deal with because they have no military connection outside of you. Thank you, person who, when I say "you are never allowed to say that to me," clearly doesn't understand why, or care to understand. Thank you, person, who obviously thinks I'm delusional and a resident of the happy little land of denial. Your opinion and expertise is the one I value.

Not.

I don't know where people get off thinking that is an OK thing to say. How can you possibly think such a phrase, uttered repeatedly whenever I'm sad or lonely, is going to help? You think I do not know that being in the Army means that my husband, the person I love more than anyone else, who I left my entire life and career for, my best friend -- you think I don't know that the Army will take him away repeatedly for 12 to 15 months during which I'll barely get to talk to him, see him once for a week and he could die (that means be gone forever, in case you don't get it).

Ah, yes, the solace to my soul is your experienced "get used to it, and shut up."

In short, never, ever say that to me.